October
1991, the Persian Gulf
The
next day, after his shift, Dan waited for Vadim in the
vehicle park. His patrol had come in a few minutes early,
their charge safely back at the airport. His helmet
dangled from one hand while a cigarette hung dangerously
low in the corner of his mouth, as he was talking to
one of the guys in his team. Midge and a couple of his
cronies were lingering not too far away, but the way
Dan ignored them, they grew tired and sloped off. Apparently
deciding it wasn't sufficient fun if they started verbal
abuse, and any physical attack would be fruitless, what
with Dan's mates all over the place and the crazy Russkie
imminent.
When
the second convoy of armoured vehicles approached, Dan
looked up, grinning into the dust cloud from behind
his shades, before returning his attention to the guy
who'd been telling him about his problems with one of
the rifles.
Vadim
got off the jeep, spotted Dan amidst the men, and saw
that Jean had spotted him too, because Jean gave him
one of those good natured ironic grins. Vadim was too
tired to be angry about something that was just the
usual pisstaking. Besides, Jean did step lightly around
him. The other guys got to hear more stupid jokes, as
if Jean was never quite comfortable about how far he
could go. Jean gave him a nod that likely said something
like "It's alright", and Vadim left the group.
He
took the helmet off and headed straight for Dan, but
remained a few steps away as Dan was talking to some
other guy.
"Cheers,
Spud." Dan nodded and chucked his cigarette butt
onto the dusty ground. "I'll look into that before
the next shift." Slapping the man's shoulder, who
muttered something like thanks, mad dog, cheers, mate.
"See you at scran." Dan called after him before
turning his attention onto Vadim.
"Hey,
sexy." He said quietly enough so that no one around
them could hear, grinning at the other. "Fancy
meeting you here."
Vadim
grinned back and shook his head. "Yeah, and I thought
they made them pale and red-haired on that island of
yours." He winked when Dan laughed. "Fancy
going to the tin hut and then showers?"
"I'm
still knackered from last night's 'fancy tin hut' adventure."
Dan grinned, waved at Jean, whose path described a curve,
passing somewhat closely if he kept on course, and he
just raised his hand and waved back.
"Besides,
you remember what I asked you to do, when we were back?
I want you to apologise to Matt." Fishing for another
fag, one of Dan's team mates was passing with a water
bottle, which he pushed into Dan's hand, taking a long
swig. "Today's the day." Holding the water
out to Vadim. "You up for it?"
Vadim
waited until Jean was out of earshot. Apologize. To
Matt. Had he promised that? Well, how bad could it be?
And why did his stomach grow small and nauseous? "Whatever."
He looked to the side. "Yes, sure. Get in touch
with him. I just need to wash the shit off." And
return the rifle.
"He's
off this afternoon, he agreed to meet in the safe house."
Dan took the water back that Vadim hadn't touched, downing
the rest. Wondering for a moment if his Russkie had
any idea what it meant that Matt had the courage to
go back into the lion's den. Perhaps. Perhaps not. Wasn't
up to him.
"Okay."
Vadim inhaled deeply, face dark.
"Let's
go to the showers, then." Rifle slung over his
shoulder, Dan turned to walk towards the check point
where they signed their weapons in. Vadim followed,
acting in every way the comrade, and nothing more, not
too close, not touching, to blend in as much as he possibly
could, still knowing that everybody knew.
"Hey!"
Dan grinned at Vadim after the paperwork was done. Lighting
a fag before he slung his arm around Vadim's waist.
So much for blending in. "You look like this is
the worst thing in the world. I reckon it was a bit
harder to get us out of the desert, no?" Walking
so close, his hip was touching Vadim's, even when the
brief half-embrace stopped and Dan's arm fell back to
his side.
Vadim
glanced at him. "I wouldn't want an apology in
his stead. I never got an apology, either."
"Apology?
For what?"
"Not
from him. Or you. From
others." Vadim managed
to stop himself, despite the growing anger. Another
wave of darkness was rolling up towards his throat and
head. "He wants it, he gets it."
"I
think you got something wrong here." Dan stopped
in the middle of the open space in front of the huts,
causing Vadim to look around and check if anybody watched
them.
"Matt
never said he wanted an apology, he doesn't even know
about this." Reaching out, Dan almost touched Vadim's
chest before letting his hand fall back down. "I
want you to apologise to the kid because he bloody well
deserves it, but you know what?" Dan's eyes were
growing darker and the plume of smoke from his cigarette
barely hid the rising irritation in his face. "If
you don't want to, then don't apologise, because this
is bullshit. A false apology is a slap in the face,
so stuff it, Russkie. I go alone."
For
Dan's sake. A real apology, and for Dan's sake, or this
thing would irritate Dan more, and fester. Maybe. It
was hard to say. Go alone. What for? He met Dan's eyes
for a moment, then looked to the side again. "I
will apologise." He inhaled. "You got me on
the wrong foot, okay?"
Tilting
his head, Dan studied Vadim for a long moment before
he finally nodded. "Okay. Just don't ever accuse
me in years to come that I 'made' you do it, because
I don't. Understood?"
"Yessir."
Vadim nodded. "Understood." He headed into
the room to drop the armour and kit off, and grabbed
his shower gear, thinking about Matt and the safe house
and Dan and how he'd phrase it. 'Sorry I tortured you'
was not the greatest solution to that problem.
Dan
followed him into the shower only a few moments later,
and while Vadim kept brooding, Dan kept quiet. Ablutions
done as quickly as always, it was time for scran as
soon as they had washed. Dan was the only man in the
queue with wet hair - and the only one with any wild
hair to speak of in the first place. Standing one behind
the other, Dan spotted Jean close by. "Hey, Frenchie,
fancy a game of pool later?"
Jean
laughed. "Can't get enough of seeing me bend over,
eh?"
"Hahaha,
you should be so lucky." Dan lifted his shades,
playing the game of banter they'd been playing since
they started shagging. "Who says I even fancy your
arse."
"It's
all over the camp
and the showers."
Vadim
shot Jean a glance, and was, again, surprised, that
nobody seemed to pick that up. Jean was flaunting it,
and nobody cared or bothered. Instead, they liked him
more for that sense of irony and irreverence.
"Just
you, or
?" Jean asked.
"Or
what?" Dan turned his head, glancing at Vadim with
a smile, "I said to Vadim we'd teach him a bit
of pool. Are you game?"
Vadim
nodded, not quite sure what the game was, but it wasn't
'just pool'. "When?"
"Always."
Jean nodded forward. "And don't hold up the queue
up there."
Shuffling
forward, Dan grinned. "1930 hrs? Vadim and I are
out of camp for a while after tea, probably around an
hour." It was Dan's turn to get his slop, the usual
huge amounts of chips, meat, veggies and anything else
the well-meaning cook piled onto his plate, plus a double
helping of dessert and far too strong coffee, all washed
down with half a litre of water.
"Yep.
Doable." That would give Jean time to call Solange,
he reflected. She'd be home by then.
"Till
then," Dan smirked at Jean, "keep the balls
warm for us."
"You
guys do the warm thing", Jean quipped back.
"Yeah,
you fucking bet!" Dan smirked once more, teeth
showing, winking to Vadim before he let his shades fall
back over his eyes. He turned to chat with the cook,
who'd become something of a mate and who always provided
the extra rations for him, since food went through Dan
like a sieve.
The
rest of tea time went without a hitch, Midge and his
cronies remained hushed in a corner, and despite Dan's
niggling worry that this was only the quiet before the
storm, he revelled in sitting at a table, laughing,
eating and chatting with team mates, and most of all,
Vadim, even though the latter was hardly the heart of
the party.
With
scran done, Dan pushed himself off the bench, looking
straight at Vadim. "Shall we?" Completely
ignoring the wolf whistle to his left, except for a
raised middle finger in the universal gesture of 'fuck
you'.
Vadim
nodded and stood, face closed, eyes not looking at anybody,
as the anger was boiling deep inside. He wouldn't mind
ripping somebody's head off just for the calls and jokes,
unable to take it like Dan did. Impossible to take it
with the same nonchalant relaxed attitude, thus the
best he could do was keep silent and wait for the moment
till he could legally act, hoping they'd overreach and
give him an excuse and a reason. He followed Dan outside,
out of camp, away from these primitives and enemies.
Walking
towards the gate, Dan lit a cigarette. Silent, in thoughts,
until they passed through the barrier and were on their
way into town. Dan had been staring holes into the dirt
in front of his boots, glancing to the side now. "Vadim?"
No way he could have missed the thunderous expression
on the other's face. "You got to loosen up a bit.
Cat calls and shit like that happen with anyone."
"I
know. That's military life, isn't it?" Vadim looked
at Dan, frowning. "It's part of the whole deal.
Being kicked around and mocked all the time, and bitches
like Midge can piss all over us?" He lowered his
gaze again. "Fuck, I miss being an officer."
"They
don't 'piss on us', that's bullshit. It's just the way
things have always been and always will be. Pecking
order, too much testosterone, male crap and cock fights,
and who gives in, is the weakest one. Show me one army
in the world that does not suffer from bullying, all
through the ranks and everywhere. Even being an Officer
wouldn't help you there."
No,
as an officer, I could kill and cripple them for it,
without having to fear anything. No punishment, thought
Vadim.
Dan
shrugged, dragged a lungful of nicotine into his body,
exhaling as he spoke. "I'm not condoning any of
this shit, but I decided a damn long time ago that I'm
not a victim and never will be, so whatever crap is
flung at me, it doesn't touch me. It means nothing,
it's just others trying to find your weakness."
And
they didn't have to do much searching in this case.
Vadim shook his head, remembered the barracks in England,
and that it had been easier there. Far easier. Despite
his accent, despite the fact he didn't quite belong,
at least nobody had known what he felt and what he was.
"Our 'weakness' was fairly open, though."
Dan
shrugged once more, looking around himself before his
eyes rested on Vadim. "If those bullyboys didn't
pick on us for being gay they'd find someone else, and
they'd pick on them. For ugly teeth, for being a ginger
haired git, for being fat, for being thin, for having
no hair, for being in their eyes something that's different
or just simply weaker, a victim, a target and a punching
ball. Look at it this way, if they try it with us they
always find themselves being punched in return - and
losing." Dan flashed a grin, "and the cat
calling? That was just friendly banter. Don't you think
those guys are bloody envious?"
"What?"
"They
see us, and they know we get some. Every day. And they?
They got girlfriends and wives at home, or no one, and
all they have here is the five-fingered lady. Trust
me, Vadim, the wolf whistle earlier was nothing but
that: banter amongst mates, and maybe, if you just shrugged
and grinned, and realised that in fact they are just
damn envious because of what we have and what we show
them every day, right smack bang into their fucking
faces, then they might even start to become human in
your eyes, and generally rather decent guys that you
might want to be mates with."
Vadim
was torn, pausing as he thought, then gave Dan a sudden,
unexpected bright smile. "I love you", he
murmured. What we have. What we show them every day.
"Fuck them." Of course, Jean didn't quite
belong in either group. He didn't join in, he just played.
Jean somehow didn't mean it.
Dan
flashed a bright grin back, somewhat taken aback at
the reaction, but so delighted, he could hardly find
the words. Wanting to embrace, kiss, and devour Vadim
right there and then, but of course that was impossible.
"Well
," dragging quickly on the cigarette
instead, "that's good, then." Throwing the
butt behind him, he was still grinning when they turned
the corner towards the safe house. After a few security
checks they unlocked the door and slipped inside. Nothing
had been touched, but the bed had gained a pillow and
the table a box with condoms. Dan couldn't help grinning.
Vadim
leaned against the wall, checking the room like he had
done before, noticing Dan's strange delight. "What's
the matter? And when is the kid coming?"
"Well,"
Dan plunked himself down onto the bed, "exhibit
A, the condoms aren't ours, aye?" Leaning back
against the wall, arms and legs spread, he slouched
in a relaxed position, "and exhibit B, no idea,
he said he'll be here as soon as he can. But he's just
a wee jarhead, if they don't let him out he's fucked."
Patting the space beside him.
Vadim
nodded. "Alright. So he's meeting somebody else
here?" Dan was probably by now running a bed &
breakfast service for all the gay uniform guys in the
country. The thought made him grin.
"Aye,
remember the Delta I told you about? That'd be him,
then. Of course, Matt gave me an earful, earlier, because
I scared the shit out of the poor kid by arranging a
blind date with a Delta." Dan was everything but
remorseful.
"Seems
they got on, then. USMC and Delta. Okay. The kid is
outgunned, but okay." Vadim got onto the bed and
sat right next to Dan, who was laughing and murmuring
"outgunned, alright", to himself. Untying
the laces of his boots and pulling them off.
"I
hope he's nice enough to knock."
"No
idea, Russkie, but if you straddled my lap I could kiss
you, while fondling your body with my hands beneath
your shirt and grinding my groin into yours. Sounds
like a plan?"
Vadim
glanced at the door. "Not sure." The bed was
in a bad position, too
straddling Dan, his back
would be turned towards the door. On the other hand,
Dan. Shit. They could have a quick one, and likely nobody
would interrupt them. Chances were precious few, unless
it was at night in their hut. Vadim sighed, it was no
choice, really, and he got onto Dan's lap, legs open
left and right, feeling the heat between his legs, and
grinding against it. "Okay."
"That
did take you a while to consider, hm?"
"No.
I just figured the kid has seen this kind of thing before."
Grinning
up, Dan leaned his head back against the wall, shades
still balancing on the bridge of his nose, even as his
hands pulled on fabric and slipped beneath Vadim's t-shirt,
just as promised.
Vadim
leaned in to kiss and plucked the shades off Dan's face.
They were in the way, and they did make him look distanced
and alien. He relished the touch on his skin, moving
against Dan, grinding against the heat, feeling his
own desire awaken and grow, no longer caring about consequences.
Or interruptions.
"You
know," Dan's voice got instantly huskier, "if
anyone had told me I'd be a randier bugger at the ripe
old age of forty-two than I was at twenty-two, I would
have told them to fuck off and cool their head down
the next loo, while I kept flushing."
"Yeah,
but you were trying with the wrong gender." Vadim
kissed deeply, opening his lips wide to invite Dan,
hands in Dan's hair and on his shoulder. "Fuck,
I'm no better."
"Yeah
" breathed out, Dan pulled Vadim closer,
hands roaming over skin. He couldn't say anything else,
because he had a tongue in his mouth and damn, it felt
just fine there. He was just about getting into the
swing of it, tugging on Vadim's shirt to get it off
him completely, when someone knocked on the door. Damn.
On time.
Vadim
groaned, broke the kiss and moved away, while Dan tried
to stop him, breathless, aroused, and in no mood to
apologize for anything. Not now. Not fucking now. Vadim
reached for a water bottle and headed towards the door,
figuring he could just as well open.
"Oh
for fuck's sake, Vadim!" Dan groaned, exasperated,
"you didn't have to move away, the kid's got a
key to this place and as you said before, nothing he
hasn't seen. Damn."
Vadim
glanced over his shoulder, stood there, trying to catch
his breath and trying to get his body to behave. Or
at least be not so fucking obvious. Not sure what Dan
wanted. Just continue? With the other guy coming in?
Looking surprised and clueless. "What?"
It
knocked again, but Dan ignored it for a moment, perfectly
aware their voices could be heard from the outside.
"You don't have to jump up like a panicked chicken
every time someone might see us together. There's nothing
wrong with it, not when it's a mate who doesn't care
and who does the same thing himself. Okay?"
"Just
" Vadim swallowed. Just when I feel fucking
vulnerable. But Dan didn't get that part, the shame,
the need to hide. To have control. "Okay."
Dan
nodded, looking at Vadim for a long moment, then called
out for Matt to enter.
Vadim
stood there, drinking, as the door was unlocked and
the jarhead entered, regarding him past the bottle.
Pretty bastard. Buff, certainly, very fit, young, a
face that almost begged to be slapped or kissed or both.
Vadim grinned as he set the bottle down.
"Hey,
Mad Dog." Matt grinned at Dan when he entered,
who waved at him, locking the door behind him and pocketing
the key. The Yank nodded to Vadim, even though his eyes
narrowed slightly, a frown settling between them. Still,
he seemed to do his best to be civil. "Long time
no see. What was the name again?"
"Vadim."
Not gracing the other with his patronymic, or last name,
both were pretty much only a habit and meant very little.
"Long time no see indeed."
Dan
winced at the sudden tension, wondering if this had
been such a great idea, but at least he had to try,
and hell, the kid was here. Right in the lion's den.
Vadim
set the bottle down and looked at Dan, briefly, then
crossed his arms in front of his chest. Glad that he
wasn't sitting on Dan's lap. "Listen, yes? I don't
think we have to talk, but I ask you to listen
to me for a little."
Matt's
brows shot up, had only come because Dan had asked,
didn't have a clue what was going to happen. He glanced
at Dan, who only shrugged and smiled slightly.
Vadim's
stance was broad, rock-solid, like facing off, but not
going anywhere near the American, merely standing his
ground. "It won't take long. You know the story
anyway." Vadim paused as if checking the American
understood, and Matt obviously did, because his own
stance suddenly mirrored Vadim's, arms across his chest
and just as solid as the other. Closed-off, defensive
without defending.
"Damn
right, man." Matt stared straight ahead, seemingly
stoic, but Dan could see his jaw muscles working.
Vadim
was speaking slowly and clearly, as if gathering his
thoughts. "Our first meeting did not go well, I
understand, and it is my fault. Dan made clear to me
that you are a close friend, and I have
overstepped
myself and treated you wrong. Not like the friend of
" He paused, wrestling through the concept
and the words again, in front of this half-baked kid.
"the most important person in my life. What I did
was
dishonourable. Unbecoming. A disgrace. I",
he inhaled, jaw muscles tightening. "ask you to
accept my apologies."
That
was obviously not what the kid had expected, and Matt's
jaw dropped open, while Dan audibly exhaled a sigh of
relief. "Uh
" was the most intelligent
answer the Yank managed to get out, before gathering
himself. "Shit, man, I didn't think
like,
didn't expect
, he puffed his chest out, once
again staring straight ahead at Vadim, but the tension
was already less. "I thought you were just a fucking
asshole. Was I wrong?"
"No,
you weren't, but doesn't matter." Vadim inhaled
again. "But I'm more honourable than that. You
did nothing wrong, and yet I punished you for
something. That was uncalled for. There's no excuse.
No reason. I did it, it was wrong. Dan's friends are
my friends." He shook his head. "Well, I blew
that one, but that's the theory, anyway."
"Well,
I
I guess you were fucking desperate."
"I
was." Close to killing myself. There's no deeper
despair than that.
Matt's
stance began to relax and his arms unfolded, falling
to his sides. Too young to resent forever, and too damned
uncomplicated to hate. He held his hand out, waiting
for Vadim to take it, all the time watched by Dan.
Vadim
reached out to take the hand and shook it, marvelling
at the fresh faced beauty now that he allowed himself
to see it. Dan had a good taste, only the best meat
on the market.
"That's
a fucking good excuse, man." Matt glanced over
at Dan, "and I guess it worked in the end."
He even offered a vague smile to Vadim. "Apology
accepted."
"Thanks."
Pressing the hand lightly, then releasing it, and Vadim
stepped back, not sure what to do beyond this point.
He glanced at Dan, then back at the kid. "That
means a lot."
Matt
seemed just as unsure about what to do, when Dan leaned
back on the bed, as sprawled as he had been before.
Grinning with intense relief, from one to the other.
"Now that you've 'kissed and made up', as they
say, I guess asking for a threesome is a bit much, eh?"
Dan smirked toothily into the room, while Matt almost
choked on his own spit. "Huh?"
Vadim
studied the kid and gave a short, toneless laugh. "So
that was what you had in mind", he said. "And
I was wondering." He moved towards the bed and
sat down. "As if Matt here didn't get anything
better than two grandfathers
" A glance to
the kid. "And one an ex-Soviet that was everything
but friendly first time round."
"I
was joking." Dan shrugged, waving Matt towards
the only chair, opposite to the bed. "I figured
it would make a grand ice breaker and it seemed to have
worked." Matt sat down, eyeing Dan and Vadim with
barely hidden suspicion.
"Joking?"
He piped up, stretching his long legs out as he slouched
on the chair. Too young, too good looking and far too
sexy. Except for that stupid-assed haircut that made
any head look like a badly polished billiard ball. "Fucking
great sense of humour you have, Mad Dog."
"Do
I?" Dan grinned, fishing for a fag before reaching
for Vadim, attempting to pull him closer, and Vadim
got onto the bed again, giving the cigarette a disapproving
glance. "What do you think?" Dan glanced
at his Russkie. "Am I a joker?"
"Sometimes."
Vadim looked into Dan's eyes, tried to see what went
on in that head, and thought, probably, it was Dan just
being familiar with him and Matt. His other lover.
"But I'm not sure you're right now." He kissed
Dan, suddenly, before he could say anything, with the
passion that had just been interrupted. Hand on Dan's
chest, fingers digging into muscle and skin. "I
don't think you are
" he murmured against
Dan's ear, breathing out, then kissing Dan's neck, and
biting, changing between the two.
"I
" Dan was flustered all of a sudden, totally
taken by surprise, and the cigarette ended up crumpled
and torn between his fingers. "I was
"
he meant to say 'joking' but then he wasn't so sure
anymore what he'd meant in the first place. Glancing
over at Matt, who was watching them, with an odd expression.
"Don't
mind me." Matt suddenly said, reaching for another
water bottle, making himself comfortable in his chair.
"I'll just sit here, quietly, like, and watch the
show." If he was embarrassed at all, he did a damn
fine job of hiding it with bravado.
Vadim
grinned at Dan, almost daring him to chicken out, call
the bluff, because, truth was, Matt was easy to ignore
as he was sitting right in his back. If he could ignore
a door, he could ignore a jarhead. And he'd enjoyed
Vanya watching him fuck some guy, he remembered, as
he pulled Dan's shirt free and over his head, despite
feeble protests, then dropping it at the side. Now fully
on the bed, legs left and right again of Dan's legs,
pulling his own shirt off as well, figuring giving Matt
a view of skin and muscles wouldn't hurt. The faint
gasp he got as reaction to those scars and a body kept
in pristine condition told him that the Yank was paying
attention very well.
Vadim
went down to kiss Dan again and murmured into his ear.
"Not
part of an apology, this one."
He grinned, baring his teeth, then nipped at Dan's throat
again, while Dan muttered, "fuck, then what is
this? I didn't plan
" Shutting up when hands
opened his belt, and Vadim got off him, to the side,
giving Matt a view, as his teeth traced the line of
Dan's cock through the cotton cloth. He was rewarded
with a sharp intake of breath, and his eyes closed as
he knew perfectly well where everything was. Opened
the buttons, working at this speed because he was sure
Dan would bolt and freak if he gave him just a second
to consider what was going on. In fact, this was damn
fucking hot, Dan spread out and watched by this young
guy.
Vadim
pulled Dan's trousers down, and immediately took his
cock deep, not allowing himself any coherent thought.
Taking him deep instead, causing Dan to groan and buck,
fully in with the first movement, and then concentrating
on that. Moving his head up and down, feeling the length
slide inside and restrict his breathing, then sped up,
skirting the reflex, but never quite triggering it.
"Oh
shit!" That was all that Dan managed to bring out,
staring down at Vadim's head, then back at Matt, who
was moistening his lips and whose open water bottle
hung forgotten in his hand. Dan didn't know what to
think, figured thinking was highly overrated, and let
his head fall back against the wall instead, legs opening
further, arms at his side for balance. His lips parted,
he felt the jarhead's eyes on him, and that knowledge
triggered something that made his mind buzz and his
cock surge.
Vadim
now went deeper and faster, then slowed down, allowing
Dan's cock to almost bob free, only to catch breath,
then went down again, relentless, and he'd grin if that
had been anatomically possible. He gave the jarhead
a sideways glance, not self-conscious, not shy, not
embarrassed about what he was doing. He'd done it too
often by now, and the kid was no danger.
Matt
was silent, staring, suddenly murmuring as if he had
forgotten he was thinking aloud, "leave me something."
Vadim
paused, pulling almost free again, taking hold of Dan's
cock with his hand to lick the crown, then looked at
Matt again, and nodded, waving him over with his hand.
Matt
jerked as if slapped and his face coloured, but he got
up nevertheless. "Fuck, man, you want me to share?"
"Yes."
He did. He was willing to share. Vadim wanted to see
Dan go insane.
Dan
groaned and Vadim felt him twitch in his grasp as he
invited the younger man, while looking at Dan with a
knowing expression.
"I'll
probably die." Dan groaned, breathless,
hands twisted in the blanket, but his comment broke
the spell and Matt slid to his knees. He didn't touch
Dan's cock, though, instead tongued the head and teased
the slit, lapping at precum before taking his time and
licking between and around Vadim's fingers. Only when
Dan started to jabber incoherent words and made pleading
sounds, did he suck the head in, until his lips touched
Vadim's hand, which gave Vadim an unexpected jolt of
pleasure.
Matt's
own hands were in his back, wrists held, pushing his
head down, indicating to Vadim to do the same with his
hand, and Vadim stroked Dan's cock, finding a rhythm
together, reducing Dan to senseless begging for more,
or less, or anything at all, as long as this never stopped.
Vadim
felt his guts knot, every now and then brushing the
jarhead's lips, but he soon found the rhythm, and leaned
in to lick Dan's scars, but distracted by the kid that
blew his lover. Just inches away from him - a sight
that aroused him far more than if he'd done this alone,
by himself, and one hand covered Dan's, that was a fist
around some of the blanket. "I can take over",
he murmured. "And finish him off, or you do. Your
call. Depends how much
you like the taste
"
Matt
came up, eyes somewhat glazed, lips glistening. His
voice had turned too husky and deep for a young guy
like him. "I like it." He didn't look at Dan,
who was pleading nonsensically for the 'torture' to
continue.
Vadim
nodded. That meant Matt would finish him off. It would
be fitting - and the longer he drew it out, the more
Dan got out of it. Not that he was grateful right now.
Of course not. Like most things in their fucked up lives,
they moved into perspective and were cherished only
years after the fact. "Okay."
"Your
turn. My hand?" Matt still didn't acknowledge Dan,
as if he didn't exist, as if all he was, was a straining
cock that begged to be sucked - reducing the man to
sex, deliberately so.
"Aye.
You can finish him off, then." Vadim grinned, grinned
so hard he found it almost difficult to engulf Dan's
cock again, casting an amused sideways glance at Dan
that was downright cruel in this situation, especially
with Dan being completely out of his mind, his facial
expression one of pain rather than pleasure.
Vadim
continued where Matt had stopped, tasting the kid on
Dan as well, while Matt helped him keep Dan interested,
stroking the cock, kneading his balls. Judging from
Dan's sounds, it worked a charm. Plus, this turn-taking
was easy on the jaw muscles, which was another plus,
and it was more arousing than the usual configuration.
Interesting. He could sense Dan was close, and pulled
back, before Dan managed to cum. "He's all yours."
Vadim sat back, relaxing his jaw with a few motions
and grinning at Dan, lips open, half-showing teeth.
The
incoherent sounds were hardly human anymore, and very
much unlike Dan. The only time Vadim had ever heard
those needy whimpers and pleading moans, coupled the
way Dan's body thrashed and jerked with complete abandon,
was during the fistfuck.
Sounds
that turned truly inhuman when Matt's lips closed firmly
around Dan's cock, shoving Vadim's hand out of the way
and taking him in fully, sucking down until Dan could
do nothing but buck up with an unguarded cry, convulsing
as his body and mind were lost in the throes of orgasm.
Matt
quickly pulled back enough to swallow, they'd long established
it was safe, and he stayed where he was for a while,
seemingly reluctant to let go of Dan's cock, or just
simply allowing the man to calm down enough to remember
breathing.
Vadim
watched, watched that young face and his lover, the
sounds going right through him. He leaned in to Dan
and kissed him, didn't matter that Dan had no space
to breathe right now, he wanted to be close, and he
was so hard it hurt.
Dan
wasn't able to kiss back properly, nor do anything that
required brain power. He was still struggling for air,
his heart hammering, when he slowly began to become
aware of his surroundings. "Uhhhh
."
Breathed out, the most intelligible sound he was able
to produce.
Vadim
grinned, kissing the open lips, not bothering whether
Dan kissed back, enjoyed or hated it, fingers digging
into the long hair, staring into Dan's eyes from very
close. Yes, he was alright. Killer orgasm, but alright.
Matt
finally let go of Dan's cock and scooted back onto the
chair, where he slouched exactly like before, but this
time sporting a formidable hard-on through his uniform
trousers. "Anyone in there, dude?" Matt grinned,
far more at ease than five minutes ago.
"Uh-huh."
Blinking, Dan gazed straight at Vadim's pale eyes, no
more than a couple of inches away. "I
"
he moistened his lips. "Fuck, I didn't plan this."
Vadim
nodded. "I know." And he did. Dan had, after
all, asked Jean for pool. He wouldn't organise anything
like this if he had planned this. Funny, really. It
was beyond Dan, but not beyond his own scheming. "Now
look at the nice American, Dan", he said softly.
"Don't you want to say 'thanks'?"
Dan's
eyes blinked sluggishly. Trailing from Vadim, too close,
over to Matt, too far away. "I guess ... I guess
I can't
expect you two
" Only then
did he cotton on to what Vadim had actually said, and
he blinked again. Faster this time, before focussing
fully onto Vadim. Eyes narrowed to try and keep the
blur away. Studying him for a moment, his hand came
up, landing on Vadim's groin, closing around his hard
cock and he gave a small acknowledgment, making Vadim
groan and move against the hand, before a brief smile
ghosted across Dan's features. "Aye."
Turning
his head, then his body, away from Vadim and towards
Matt. Sitting up, Dan rolled his shoulders before stretching,
then sliding onto his knees and crossing the short distance.
Kneeling in front of a shocked looking baby Yank. "Matt
..." Dan murmured huskily, "I want to properly
thank you."
Vadim
sat back, almost as shocked, but he knew Dan was playing
it by ear and perfectly
and impossibly sexy.
Dan just acting, just doing this
this
submission thing, this power thing
he nodded
to Matt and smiled, encouraging. All perfectly safe.
Not sane, but safe.
"Yeah,
fuck, sure." Yet Matt seemed everything but sure,
despite the encouragement. Dan seemed deceptively meek,
trousers around his knees, cock spent. Those dark eyes
lifted, framed by the silver streaked dark hair, laughter
lines around the eyes and
Matt shook himself
out of his reverie. Fingers working to get his belt
open, trousers undone, briefs down. Dan was everything
but meek, everything but docile, and nothing but tamed
danger. Sinews and muscles, twenty-plus years of deadly
experience. A lethal killer, on his knees. Begging,
almost, to suck a cock. It was the tamed danger that
won above all else, that got Matt to free his cock and
simply wait, not touching Dan.
Vadim
got off the bed, standing there, changing the angle
so he could watch better. His guts a churning mess of
desire, surprise, and the strange feeling of power,
and the pure arousal of seeing Dan with somebody else.
He didn't hate Matt now. If anything, he was jealous
because he hadn't watched them those other times. Took
half a step closer.
Dan
glanced at the cut cock, moistened his lips, and then
did the most unexpected thing of all. He turned his
head, voice, soft and husky, unlike the wildness of
his eyes. "May I?" To Vadim. Asking permission
out of a strange instinct, knowing what effect this
game would have on his lover. The lover who hated nothing
more than being a lover, being with him, being gay -
and being different. In public. Paying him back, now,
for every touch, and every kiss, and every smile in
front of others.
Vadim
nodded, speechless, unable to say a word or make a sound,
just moved closer and ran his fingers down Dan's face,
through his hair. His own desire killing him right now.
"Yes. Suck him like
you would me."
Voice husky, and he didn't even realize he'd spoken
Russian.
But
Dan had noticed, and he smiled, before turning back
to face Matt, lifting his head and pulling his hands
back, just like Matt had done earlier. But Dan did it
with more vigour, more viciousness. Muscles standing
out, visible even through the thin shirt, a sight Vadim
couldn't tire of, and he took Dan's wrists with his
hands, keeping them crossed and up and back, feeling
Dan's muscles shift as he did, while Matt was only able
to stare open mouthed at him, cock twitching.
Lowering
his head, Dan focussed a moment before doing what he
did best, sucking down hard and deep, using all his
control, his zest, and his fucked-up lust for cocks
and cum, to deep throat his Yank as hard and furious
as he could. No quarter given, and no other choice for
Matt than to let go and enjoy the ride.
Vadim
groaned, just seeing this almost made him cum in his
trousers. Imagining it was himself, and at the same
time fully appreciating Matt's cock and near perfect
physique. The taut, flat stomach that was half-revealed
as the t-shirt rode up, just a bit, but this glimpse
of skin was almost better than the whole thing. The
way Dan's face changed, and the expression in his eyes.
Matt's
eyes were half closed, transfixed on Dan and the way
his cock vanished between those lips, and he could not
last. Not the way the Russian was holding Mad Dog, forcing
his arms and wrists higher, making him bend further
down, and Dan just let him, just did it, and Matt stared,
breathless, helpless, lost to lips, teeth, suction,
strength, heat
he came before he even realised
he was there yet, thrusting upwards into the willing
throat. Groaning and panting, but he did not touch Dan,
as if Mad Dog belonged to another. To that madman, that
Russkie.
Gasping,
when Dan licked up the shaft, Matt looked up, watched
how Dan moved his shoulders, struggling against the
way he was held to lift up onto his knees, before Matt
finally realised what he wanted, when Dan kissed him
the next moment. Deeply, letting him taste his own cum,
tongues intertwined.
Vadim's
hands still on Dan's arms, but he released him, instead
moved to the side, looking down at Dan, opening his
fly, and freeing his cock while Dan and Matt were kissing,
lost for a while in that small word of perfect intimacy
after an orgasm. Dan finally pulled back, grinning at
Matt, who was nearly as breathless as he had been before
the kiss, when Dan turned his head and glanced slowly
up at Vadim.
Vadim,
who needed this, right now, with very little patience,
and slid his cock between Dan's lips, which opened willingly.
Pushing deep, knowing Dan would accept and could deal
with it. He thrust in a few times, fucking that throat
almost roughly, certainly fast. All the time Dan's hands
remained in his back, fists surreptitiously clenching,
concentrated with narrowed eyes on fighting the gagging
reflex.
Just
a little later Vadim took Dan's head and pressed him
in while coming, against the desperate sounds. Then,
despite what it cost him, Vadim pulled back, shaky on
his legs, dazed, unable to say or do anything, not while
he was panting so hard.
Matt
was staring at the sight before him. Disbelief and shock
written all over his face. Gaping wide-eyed and with
an explosive mixture of lust and something akin to repulsion,
disappointment, embarrassment, a whole lot of confusion,
while Dan was unable to take any notice of him, nor
really of Vadim. Too intent on getting his breath back.
When
thought returned, Vadim reached out to touch Dan's face.
"I love you", he murmured, again. Seemed he
couldn't repeat this often enough. Words that were now
allowed, accepted, that were alright. Seeing Dan struggle
for breath, he took him by his shoulders, pulled him
up, one arm around Dan's heaving chest. "Are you
alright? Lapushka?"
Dan
grinned, stood close, leaning into Vadim. Two cocks
in one go was more than he'd bargained for. "Aye."
His voice remained husky from the abuse his throat had
taken. An abuse he had more than readily accepted, even
welcomed. "Fucking hell, that was
different."
"Yes,
it was." Very different. Their games only ever
had seen Vadim on his knees like this, with Dan in control,
with the power. A few times, in an almost as good a
safe place in Kabul. "I needed to be
rough."
And what buzz if it was Dan at the receiving end. Always.
No struggle, acceptance, and just knowing Dan accepted
it.
"That's
OK, it was a bloody interesting thrill and you didn't
hear me complain, did you?" Dan's dark eyes were
alive when he grinned. Tilting his head, he rested it
in the crook of Vadim's neck for a moment, eyes closed,
grinning from ear to ear, while his lips touched Vadim's
throat. He didn't pay Matt any attention right now,
couldn't help focussing on Vadim, with Vadim's hand
resting between his shoulder blades. Despite the American's
less than subtle clearing of his throat as he rustled
with fabric, tucking himself in at last.
Vadim
turned his head, looking at Matt and smiling at him.
"Are you alright?"
"Uh,
yeah, sure." Matt stammered, looking at his hands,
uniform, chair, table, bed, even Vadim, but studiously
avoiding to look at Dan. "Just didn't expect this,
like, stuff." He shrugged, "don't complain
either. Was hot." He shrugged again, still not
looking at Dan.
Vadim
paused at the obvious consternation. "Yeah, I guess
guess that feels pretty weird." Not quite
sure what to say to the kid. Holding Dan like this meant
Matt was more or less a guest, and Vadim felt strangely
generous and pleasant, but first tucked himself in with
his free hand, which finally stirred a rather spaced-out
Dan into action who hadn't noticed anything amiss with
Matt's reaction. Too lost, but finally remembering that
his trousers were at his ankles. He sighed, shrugged,
and did abso-fucking-lutely nothing about it.
"Or
is it about
this?" Vadim motioned around,
not sure himself what this 'this' actually was. Remembering
something Darren had said. It felt like ten years ago,
but he had replayed their conversation often in his
head. "Funny, how power works, huh?"
"What?"
That got Matt's attention, and even Dan perked up, blinking
twice.
It
was the Yank though, who shook his head and stretched
his legs out, slouching in the chair once more. "Is
just fucking odd, alright? Didn't expect Mad Dog to
do stuff like that. Didn't think he was your bottom.
Am just surprised, like, that Mad Dog's a sub. Though
that dom shit, yeah man, that doesn't surprise me."
Matt quirked one corner of his lip up, obviously remembered
how Vadim and he had 'met'.
"What?"
Dan exclaimed in utter disbelief, finally getting his
act together, but not his trousers up. "Sub? Dom?
What the fuck's that?"
Vadim
gave a laugh, didn't mean to go on laughing, but couldn't
stop right away once he'd started. Letting Dan go so
he could sort himself and pull his trousers up. "Top
and bottom, Dan. Matt here
" strange how
the kid had become 'Matt' and was no longer 'Donahue',
"thinks you submit to me. That you're the passive
one. You know. Like to be humiliated, even, like to
give up control." Vadim cleared his throat. Dom
and him, that
didn't seem quite right,
either. Switch, or slave. But he'd be fucked if he told
the kid that.
"I
what?" Dan had just about managed to pull
his trousers to thigh level, when he let them drop again.
Staring incredulously at the jarhead, whose face was
starting to discolour into a remarkable shade of dark
red. Pushing his hands into his hips, Dan drew himself
up to full height, including the puffing up of his already
impressive chest. Unaware of the fact that any such
gesture with one's BDUs around one's ankles was not
the most effective one.
"I
have you know, Matt, that I am no such thing as a 'sub',
that I am not bloody well ever passive - unless I choose
to be and there is something to say for an occasional
fistfuck." The latter caused the American to gulp
and stare open mouthed, discolouring even further. "I
sure as fuck do not like to be humiliated and I'd probably
rip anyone's throat out, who tried to take control."
He glared, but Vadim had started to laugh even harder
and it was damn difficult to keep up the righteous anger,
when faced with the kid's flustered appearance.
"Then
what
why
" Matt managed to
stammer.
Vadim
rubbed his eyes and had turned away to fight for his
composure while Dan stalked over to the bed and sat
down with his bare arse. Priceless. Vadim thought he'd
laugh about this probably even on patrol. Would be difficult
to explain. Better keep his mind in the present. "Because
sometimes, Dan likes it. Colour me surprised if it happens,
but I'm certainly not the top
or dom, or whatever
" Vadim paused, then shrugged when Matt seemed
surprised, but at the same time strangely relieved.
"Seems that happened when Dan took me prisoner
the first time. I just got a liking for it, I guess."
Remembering how badly fucked up he'd been, and Dan in
control, the struggle all those days, while sharing
warmth in the night.
"Oh
bugger." Dan murmured, glancing at Vadim when he
finally, absolutely finally and at last, pulled up his
trousers again. Lifting up to close them, then patting
the space beside him. "It's just games, kid",
but the Yank didn't listen.
Instead,
Matt looked from one to the other and drew in a deep
breath. "Alright, man, this is getting way to fucking
crazy. Time for a little story telling, right? Prisoner?"
He glanced at Vadim, then at Dan. "You never told
me about that, Mad Dog. I know you've gone a long way
back, like, stone age, but prisoner?"
Vadim
glanced at Dan and stepped towards the bed again, standing
there, hands now in his pockets - a sure sign he was
relaxing. "Afghanistan, 1980. I was Soviet special
forces, and Dan
was undercover. Dan took me prisoner
to interrogate me, up in the mountains." He smiled,
ruefully, while the Yank's eyes grew wider. "I
spilled the beans, of course I did. I know what torture
is like. And Dan's method was crude, but effective."
Giving Matt a knowing, understanding nod. "Dan
very near killed me, but somewhere inside that complete
bastard, he decided he didn't want to kill a prisoner.
Geneva convention more than my beauty."
Dan
was looking down, rubbing his nose with the back of
his hand for a long time, before he looked up and met
Matt's scrutinising gaze. "I'm not a nice guy,
kid." He shrugged, but didn't apologise. Facts,
past, and over. They'd done what they had done. "Or,
at least, I'm not just a nice guy. I did what
I did, in fact, we both did. Vadim and I." Looking
up at the other, who gave him a nod, remembering, with
too much clarity, and still it was removed and had paled
over time. Dan smiled and hooked his hand into Vadim's
webbed belt, pulling him down to sit beside him. "Let's
just say, the way we met wasn't as fun as the way you
and I did, or Hooch and you, for that matter."
The last bit got Matt to roll his eyes and shake a feeble
fist at Dan, as if he complained about something that
had seemingly turned out well.
Dan
slung his arm around Vadim's shoulder, fishing for a
fag in one of the many pockets of his trousers. "You
could say it was tit for tat. Eye for an eye and all
that shit. We both bear the scars," Dan's voice
softened, "inside and out." He found the cigarette
and zippo, lighting the fag one-handed. Exhaling slowly,
he watched the plume of smoke before adding with a smile,
"and that's why we can play what we play, even
the unexpected, without being a 'sub' or a 'dom' or
whatever you called it, and without belonging to any
bloody category, and without it affecting who we are.
We're just us: old, scarred, weathered battle horses
who've gone through more shit - together and apart -
than anyone should survive. But we did, so what's a
little kink between friends." He tilted his head
against Vadim's shoulder.
Vadim
reached up and cupped Dan's head, not minding the smoke
and studying the kid, only hoping for his sake, that
he'd never get into anything similar, even though it
had turned out well. That kind of fresh face should
be home, not killing stuff. "That about sums it
up", he murmured. "Some things lose proportion,
or get twisted, and all you have is yourself to measure
things by. I guess it looks a bit lopsided from
outside, or a different perspective."
"Okay."
Matt looked from one to the other. "I think you're
right, looks strange from here." He sat up straighter,
offering a smile. All seemed to be well in his world
once more, even the colour of his face was returning
to normal. "It's freaky shit what spec force does.
Guess I'll never get it. Not sure if I want to."
He shrugged, reaching for one of the water bottles before
pointing at the 'idyll' in front of him. "But this,
shit man, yeah this is what I want. Hope you have a
fucking clue how damned lucky you are." He tipped
the open bottle to his lips and emptied almost half
of it, while Dan poked gently into Vadim's ribs, chuckling,
"I
think I know. And what about you, Russkie?"
Vadim
rolled his eyes. "Yeah, decent enough cocksucker,
brings in his own pay, doesn't look half bad, and is
great for sharing warmth. But the smoking
that's
an issue." Gently touching his head to Dan's, who
was laughing out loud. Vadim grinned, then glanced at
Matt. "Piece of advice: stick to your own countrymen,
though. Doing what we did at the height of the Cold
War was a shit idea, all told."
Dan
was shaking with laughter now, hard to imagine, in hindsight,
how they'd made it. How the hell they had survived eleven
years, Afghanistan, near death, Moscow, near destruction,
and now the desert. "Listen to him, Matt, he's
right."
Matt
grinned and stood up. "Yeah, but not with a freakin'
Delta who doesn't talk."
"I
wouldn't say that's a disadvantage." Dan chuckled.
"Don't
know." Matt shrugged one shoulder, one hand in
his pocket. "Listen, guys, I got to be off. Just
wanted to say thanks, for
" he looked at
Vadim for a long moment, "for everything."
Vadim met the gaze, not unfriendly, felt a strange kind
of connection with the kid now, like one of his own
comrades, one of the good ones.
"Same
here." Vadim couldn't say more than that, the eye
contact had made it awkward, but close. There was understanding.
Walking
past Dan, Matt leaned down and snatched the half-smoked
cigarette from his fingers, despite Dan's protest. "And
your 'Russkie' is right, Mad Dog, smoking is shit. You
should stop." Grinning, he stubbed the fag out
beneath his boot and ducked far too quickly for Dan's
lazy fist to connect anywhere vital, when Vadim added:
"See?"
"I'll
be around." Matt grinned, unbolting the door and
was soon out, leaving Dan and Vadim sitting on the bed.
"Well.
That was that." Dan said dryly after a moment,
fingering the pack for another coffin nail. "Why
do I feel like a very old guy who is part of a very
old couple?"
Vadim
leaned back, stretching his back out on the bed. "Because
we are. I don't think I was ever that young, though.
Or was I?" He glanced up at Dan, smiling warmly.
"Nope,
definitely not when I 'met' you. Besides, you were already
older. What was it again? Thirty-two? Or were we thirty-one?"
"Thirty-one."
"That
kid's just about twenty or thereabouts." Dan shook
his head.
"Damn."
Vadim looked at the door, thought of the kid, and shook
his head. Doing the numbers. Nikolai was twelve. His
daughter two years older. He hoped they were alright.
"He's just starting it, though. They trained him
and sent him off to war. When he comes back out of it,
he might be dead, or like us, or different. But I guess
he'll be alright. He's a smart one. Young, but smart.
And", Vadim added with a lopsided grin, "a
prize to behold."
"Aye,
if only he weren't quite so smart, if you ask me."
Dan was looking at his fag packet and stashed it away
with a heavy sigh and rueful grin.
"You
mean 'smartassed'?" Vadim grinned. "I like
that. Good choice, 'Mad Dog'."
Dan
grinned, poking Vadim's abs. "Is it time for this
old couple to go back to camp for a round of pool, or
what about a 'kiss and a cuddle' before we go, old man?"
"I
think I could fit a kiss and a cuddle in." Vadim
raised his hand and waved Dan down to hold him. "Wake
me if I fall asleep, okay?"
"Sure.
That is if this old man here doesn't fall asleep first."
Dan settled comfortable in the embrace and closed his
eyes. Limbs entangled, bodies pressed close, and sated
from recent sex. Paradise could be so simple.
*
* *
When
Vadim entered the mess, Dan just half a stride behind
him, lighting another cigarette, Jean had already started
playing pool. A brief glance at the clock showed they
were almost thirty minutes late. Jean was half sitting
on the pool table, just taking aim at the white ball,
an unlit cigarette haphazardly dangling from his lip.
Vadim could just imagine what Dan's and Jean's shared
'fag breaks' were like.
Jean
glanced up at them, then shot the ball at a red one,
making it bounce around twice, nowhere near one of the
pockets. He got off the table with that lazy confidence
that was clearly put on, but the Legionnaire flashed
them a smile. "Ah, must be nice to get some. Dan?
You guys still up for a game involving less interesting
balls?"
Dan
was laughing around his cigarette, shrugged, while pointing
at Jean's unlit one. "It's getting soggy. I was
told they work better if you actually light and smoke
them."
"I'm
just hoping to kick the habit that way." Jean took
the cigarette from his lips and put it behind his ear.
"To dry", he commented, to none in particular.
"Sure."
Dan rolled his eyes, strolling over to the cues. He
took one and inspected it, making sure the ferret and
tip were firmly secured, before handing the cue to Vadim,
who took it and held it more like a club. "This
one's not too bad, I take one of the warped ones."
His hand rested on Vadim's arm some time longer than
necessary as he grinned.
Vadim
nodded, looking at the table and watching Jean set up
the balls in the triangle, then back to Dan. Sated,
calm, relaxed. Sex with Dan just put him into a mind
frame where the Legionnaire was only half as grating.
Or anybody else's company. He thought of the American
kid, and was surprised that there was no bitterness,
no anger, no nothing. Just the feeling that they were
all, on some level, soldiers, and comrades.
Chuckling,
Dan shook his head and took Vadim's hand in both of
his, attempting to rearrange the cue, but Vadim's hands
seemed to resist, awkwardly holding on while clearly
not getting what to do with the thing.
"You
don't use it to kill people, and if you did, you'd stab
them, not clobber them to death." Glancing at Vadim
for a moment, Dan smiled when a thought occurred to
him. "Fencing. I bet fencing is a lot like pool,
just that pool is played horizontally and with balls."
Vadim
paused, lips breaking into one of his rare, bright smiles,
and he assumed the en garde position, which was very
awkward with the unbalanced piece of wood. "I don't
think so."
Jean
laughed. "You fence?"
"Used
to."
"Wow.
Power to you. That's one sport I wouldn't really place
you in, I mean."
Dan
turned his attention to the Frenchie, eyebrows shooting
up towards the wild hairline. "What, you didn't
know Vadim was an Olympionite?"
Jean
lowered the cue. "He was? What sport?"
"Pentathlon."
He couldn't help it, Dan was beaming with possessive
pride.
"Modern
Pentathlon", Vadim corrected, out of reflex, and
found it strange to be looked at this way, even when
Dan just grinned in reply. It had been ages ago. He
lowered the cue as well and stood normally again, flat
hand rubbing along the wood without noticing. "But
I didn't win anything."
"You
would have." Dan shook his head while walking over
to the rack, picking a cue for himself. "I know
you would have."
"You
competed in the fucking Olympics", said Jean, "that's
very impressive. Wow. Our Vadya is a celebrity."
A good humoured grin, as he walked around the table,
standing in front of Vadim. "I do wonder what other
secrets you have, comrade."
Vadim
shook his head. "Maybe that I'm not a complete
bastard?"
Jean
frowned, then shook his head. "Now you're stretching
it, comrade."
"That's
bullshit, Jean." Dan said very quietly from the
corner, cradling his chosen cue.
Jean
looked at Vadim for a long time, the gaze was met stoically,
but without challenge. Vadim's stance said 'Look at
me all you like', until Jean plucked the cigarette from
his ear and lit it, half-turning away from Vadim. "A
friend's friend", he stated and raised his cue
again. "Okay. Just do what I do. Pool is dead simple
and dead sexy, especially when you bend over the table."
Dan
was still standing a few feet away, glancing across
the room. They were alone, and that was a damn good
thing, especially after Jean's comment. Even though
Jean couldn't possibly mean that. Now could he?
But Dan sure as hell couldn't help the sudden heat that
pooled below his belt. Not after the unexpected
afternoon. "What you mean, Frenchie?"
Jean
grinned. "I'd teach a grandmother how to suck eggs
if I explained to you that bending over the table looks
a lot like an invitation."
"Aye,
but the 'bending over the table' thing is usually not
done in a Mess. At least not with the same, ah, let's
say 'thoughts'."
"Or
'not thoughts'", corrected Jean, tapping the table
lightly.
Dan
grinned, walking back to the table and plonking himself
down with his elbows on the sides, looking at Vadim.
"Guess it's time our resident wiseass shows you
how to play pool, eh?" The cigarette had burnt
down and he stubbed out the butt in a nearby ashtray.
"I
guess." Vadim still looked somewhat dubious, seeing
Jean chalk the tip of the cue, prance around and then
take the triangle off. Placing the white ball in the
D at the opposite end of the table, facing the front
of the triangle, lining up a shot.
"This
is called the break shot." The balls scattered,
and Jean looked pleased when he potted a red ball. "There.
You try to pot all red ones, but none of the yellow
ones, and not hit then them either, and the black one
last, after all your red ones. If you put one in, you
get another shot. And so on. It's all about angles and
hitting the ball right."
"Okay.
Sounds simple enough."
"Then
come, try it." Jean waved Vadim over. "See
that one? If you line it up like this ..." Leaning
down, placing the cue into his hand, taking measure.
"If you hit it slightly left of the centre, it
should just drop in, no sweat, no work. See?"
Vadim
leaned in to follow the indicated trajectory. "Yeah."
"Okay.
Try it. Chalk first, cue like this, and the rest is
practice."
Dan
was watching the two Russkies, both of them without
fatherland and only one with a home. He smiled to himself
with an odd sense of tenderness. "Go on, you'll
probably be annoyingly good at this."
Vadim
gave Dan a smile and lined up his shot, hitting the
while ball so it made a small jump and went somewhere
else entirely.
"Too
much strength. Balls like to be handled with care",
said Jean, grinning, his hand lightly touching Vadim's
arm. "But we let you have another go for practice."
Vadim looked at Jean, very briefly, but the touch was
not threatening, not teasing, and the annoying thing
about Jean was that the bastard could be innocent and
tantalizing at the same time.
"Hang
on, I show you." Dan grinned, leaving his cue where
it was and walking to stand behind Vadim. "Just
try again, here." Draping himself over Vadim's
back, touching him all the way. No pressure, just guidance.
His hands on Vadim's, guiding the cue, with Vadim noticeably
breathing faster, and briefly closing his eyes as the
touch went through and around him.
"Just
like that. Pull back and
" Dan breathed
out the next words in a husky purr, "as gentle
as the beginning of a fistfuck."
Vadim
tensed, again ruining the shot, and glanced over his
shoulder, but Dan was smiling innocently at him. Eyes
dark and unfathomable.
Jean's
eyes slightly widened at Dan's words, and seeing these
men this close made his heart race, remembering when
he'd seen them, and now, different, tender almost, and
he could imagine what it would look like, Vadim bent
over. He cleared his throat. "Well, almost there.
Have another go." He picked up the ball and put
it back into its original place. "Now, slow and
smooth."
Dan
moved one step away, enough not to crowd and not to
touch, while still being near, watching.
Vadim
did the motion a few times without touching the ball,
then added some range to it and got it right. The angle
wasn't quite there yet, but the white sent off one of
the reds and it went into the right direction.
"There
you go!" Dan applauded, "you got it. Now you
just have to make sure you get all of the red balls
in, because you started with red, but not the black,
because that goes last, and definitely not the yellow.
If you pot the white one, or hit the yellow ball first,
your opponent gets two shots."
"Yes.
Not rocket science", murmured Vadim.
Jean
nodded at him. "Try a few, we start again after
you potted a couple." He motioned to indicate the
table was all Vadim's, and Vadim walked around it, looking
for angles. Suddenly concentrated like studying a tactical
map, and trying the occasional shot, getting the hang
of it.
Dan
grinned, then walked over to the drinks dispenser, gesturing
to both men if they wanted an ice cold, alcohol-free
beer as well. Vadim shook his head, but Jean headed
for the drinks dispenser himself, leaning against the
machine with a lop-sided smirk.
"What?"
Dan got the first bottle out, handed it over. Drops
of condensation rolling down his fingers. "You
trying to tell me something with that smirk?"
"Are
you trying to tell me something with that ..."
Jean nodded towards the table. "Or why did the
temperature just go up by ten degrees?"
"Look,"
Dan grinned, cracking the top off his bottle, "I'm
the one who had sex today."
"Bastard."
Dan
smirked, took a deep draught of the ice cold liquid,
"I don't know what you're talking about."
He kept his voice low, "and I do remember that
Vadim and you are not particularly friends, aye?"
Jean
nodded and glanced at Vadim. "Sure. I didn't mean
to invite myself there." He grinned. "Don't
get me wrong." Jean opened his own cold beer.
"Don't
think I am getting you wrong." Dan winked,
turning half-way towards Vadim. "How are you getting
on?"
Vadim
nodded, waving the cue. "Yes. Set up the proper
game?"
Jean
pushed away from the dispenser, put the cue down and
started collecting the balls, then set up the triangle,
arranged the balls correctly with the black one in the
middle, and put the white ball into position. "What
teams, and who breaks?"
"We're
three and I'm bloody good. I reckon that means it's
you and Vadim in one team, against me. Sounds fair?"
Dan grinned with all the arrogance of a veteran pool
player. "That also means that I am kind and generous
and let Vadim break." Finishing his beer before
sauntering to the table, Dan leaned casually against
it with his hip. Striking a relaxed pose that was nothing
short of a hustler - if only he were about twenty years
younger.
Jean
laughed. "Kind and generous, eh?" He nodded
to Vadim and plucked the triangle off. "Your turn,
Vadya. And remember, whatever he does in front of your
eyes is only geared towards winning. They say it's 11%
skill and 89% mental."
Dan
snorted watching Vadim line up the first shot. "I
wouldn't have guessed", Vadim murmured, but more
light-hearted than he usually was. The first shot scattered
the balls all over the table, but none went in.
"Not
bad." Dan pushed his hips forward while swivelling
the cue in his hand. He moved ever so slightly further
into Vadim's line of vision, his body language shouting
'fuck me', and Vadim's eyes were drawn and stuck to
the crotch that had just taken centre stage in his vision.
"Let's
see how you deal after the next shot." Dan grinned,
"my turn. After all, men of our age only have so
many shots left per day." He leaned over the table,
and instead of choosing the easiest shot to pocket the
first colour, he decided on the furthest one, which
forced him to spread his legs for balance and to lean
half across the table. Arching his upper body until
his arse stuck out, it caused the worn desert camo to
tighten across his buttocks. He placed the shot with
remarkable accuracy, the white hitting a red and sending
it sliding into one of the pockets. Dan grinned triumphantly.
"Red it is, then."
Vadim
swallowed and could only agree to Jean's earlier assessment.
This was ... about sex. Or Dan made it that way.
"Ah,
go on, then, you tease", said Jean, laughing. "Just
keep it up like this ...."
"And
then what?" Dan didn't get up, instead twisted
on the table until he leaned on it sideways, his whole
body stretched and taut, and his face showing a kick-ass
grin. "I'm going to win? Damn right, Frenchie."
"Not
without a fight." Jean was watching, unashamed,
far too interested and head-on to even pretend he wasn't
paying attention, but Vadim didn't notice much, too
caught up in staring.
Dan
sauntered past Vadim, who turned with him, brushing
him all the way with his body, before getting to the
other side of the table and repeating the earlier show,
this time to get the second red ball and letting Jean
enjoy the full view of his arse as he leant over once
more.
"Right.
I think we should start distracting him in turn",
said Jean, pulling the front of his wifebeater loose
and letting it hang out of his camos. "Vadim?"
Vadim
shook his head and was somewhat surprised as Jean did
pull the wifebeater over his head and dropped it on
the nearby benches. "Take this."
"Strip
Pool?" Dan grinned, then wolf-whistled.
"Yeah?"
"You
think you can distract me like that without retaliation?"
"I
was hoping, not."
Wiggling
his hips into Jean's direction, Dan concentrated on
the game. Glancing up at Vadim with a wink before hitting
the white and sending another red to the pockets, except
it stopped right before and touched a yellow
ball, which then slid in slow motion towards the pocket
and vanished.
"Damn!"
Dan was still grinning, though, and came back up to
stand. "Seems it is your turn." Leaning the
cue against the table, Dan had both hands on the hem
of his t-shirt, fanning himself with the fabric, pretending
he was warm. "Jean's got the right idea, don't
you think so, Vadim? Far too hot in here."
Vadim
shook his head again, watching the other two, then looking
towards the door. The Mess wasn't exactly private. Still,
he couldn't stop looking at Jean, and Dan was even worse.
Pulling
the shirt over his head, Dan flung it across the room
towards the benches, before idly rubbing the scars across
his abs. He took a step towards Jean, cue in one hand,
the other running up his own chest, grinning with nothing
short of promises. "Your turn."
"Is
it just?"
"That
depends, doesn't it?" Dan grinned while stepping
away.
"Guess
it does." Jean motioned for Vadim. "Come.
He's got two points already."
Vadim
stepped up to the table, glad he could see something
that wasn't bare skin, but it was terribly distracting.
Still, one of the yellow balls was close to the pocket,
and he only needed to hit it straight on. Unfortunately,
the white followed right behind.
"Bugger,
eh?" Dan smirked, moving close to Vadim and letting
his hand rest between his shoulder blades. "Too
bad." Leaning so close, he spoke directly into
his ear. His voice had taken on the dark rumbling sound
before sex, despite being in a very public area. "I
think if you lost your shirt you'd play much better."
Vadim
straightened, leaning into Dan's touch, eyes almost
closing. "Dan ..." Torn between shame and
wanting, body showing definitely one of them, and suddenly
Jean stepped in, taking hold of Vadim's shirt. "Come
on, secret weapon."
Somehow,
that brought the tension up a notch. Jean's hands against
Vadim's stomach, and brushing him as Jean pulled the
shirt free. "Should try every trick in the book."
"You're
insane", Vadim murmured, suddenly feeling a hand
on his hip, and he wasn't sure whose it was. Did it
matter?
"Aye,
but that's why you love me, right?" Dan murmured,
two hands in Vadim's back, palms connecting with scarred
skin. "Besides, if you distract me enough, I might
fuck up the next shot." A crotch was rubbing against
Vadim's backside, but whose was it? Vadim's eyes were
closed, he was enveloped in bodies, heat, and tension
jumped up yet another notch. He reached behind him,
finding that crotch and rubbing it, reasonably sure
that the body covered it, but he was perfectly ready
to head to the tin hut. Don't think. Just don't think,
as fingers slid under his shirt and brushed his nipples.
"Oh
fuck", breathed Vadim. All strategy was out of
the window.
"Aye
that was exactly what I was thinking of."
Hands roaming under Vadim's shirt, not two, but three,
four, with fingers touching, palms pressing and hands
connecting. Playing with nipples, teasing skin, manipulating
scars and flesh. Dan was stepping in closer, groins
pushing into Vadim's backside, forcing him to lean over
the table. Harder, closer, while Dan's voice rumbled,
"how do you like this game so far, Vadim?"
Vadim's
hands took hold of the table, the rim pressing against
his cock, probably too hard to hump it, but so far,
it felt too good to stop. He couldn't think. Couldn't
think about Jean who was there, too, the encounter with
the Yank had been too fucking sexy, and his caution
was going out of the window. "I do", he murmured.
"Like it."
Jean
grinned with irony and kindness, and pressed against
Dan, clearly showing his interest, too. Moving close
enough to almost kiss Dan. "There's somebody heading
this way", he murmured into Dan's ear.
"Hmmm?"
Dan didn't listen, Vadim's reaction, his body, scent,
skin, and Jean, and that after sex with Vadim and the
kid. And holy fuck, he couldn't think, just wanted to
kiss. Turning his head to capture Jean's lips, too close
to his face.
He
almost managed, when the noise outside got loud enough
to penetrate even his sex-muddled brain." "Oh
fuck." With feeling.
Jean
grinned and broke away first, heading for the other
side of the table and picking up Vadim's cue, as Dan
slipped his hands out from under Vadim's shirt, murmuring
into his ear, "keep that thought." Vadim barely
managed to open his eyes and reach for the offered piece
of wood, even though he was far too gone to do anything
with it. The way Vadim looked, he'd be lucky if he remembered
anything about pool.
Just
now some soldiers broke into the mess, loud and boisterous,
and there were catcalls at Jean's and Dan's state of
undress.
"Hey!"
Dan called out to them, having just about managed to
shuffle far enough away from Vadim that he wasn't too
obvious. "You're just jealous of my manly body,"
laughing, "and it's too fucking warm in here, they
left the heaters on full again." He grinned at
them and waved with the cue, while carefully keeping
his groin hidden behind the table. Wouldn't do to flaunt
that obvious hard-on.
One
of them, Doug, picked up on the banter, walking over
to slap Dan's bare shoulder. "Jealous, mate?"
Voice stentorian with a heavy Glaswegian accent. "I
tell you what, your scars can curdle milk. I think I
rather not swap bodies." He was laughing as good
humouredly as Dan. A jock like him, he'd always been
one of the good eggs, who didn't give a shit about what
Dan was, only who - and that was a Scotsman, like him.
Waving
negligently at Jean and at Vadim, Doug jumped out of
reach of Dan's retaliatory punch. "Don't know what
you see in Mad Dog, ladies, but seems we have to add
our Frenchman to the ever growing horde of fangirls."
"Doug,
you told me yourself after I caught you with that donkey
..." Jean lined up a shot and sunk a ball. It was
a red one, but that didn't matter, the guys didn't know
it was Dan's colour. "A hole is a hole, right?"
Doug
laughed so hard, the first mouthful of the alc-free
beer was spewing like a fountain all over the place.
"Aye,
that'd be true, then." Doug winked at Dan, before
sauntering back to his mates. "You play nice, Mad
Dog, or we all get too jealous of your harem, wanting
a piece of your assembled arses as well." Glancing
at Vadim with an astonishingly friendly grin, "and
I doubt that your harem would take kindly to that."
"I
think you're damn right." Dan grinned, "now
fuck off and leave us to play."
Doug
shrugged, still grinning like an idiot, before joining
his other mates.
Vadim
wasn't quite sure how stoic he appeared, but relaxed
visibly. This was one of Dan's friends, then. One who
didn't mind. Good. He really was in no mood to fight,
still feeling those touches on his body. And at loss
for a comeback, while Jean potted another ball, yellow,
seemingly only concerned with potting the next one.
Red. Completely random.
Dan
looked first at Vadim, then Jean, watching the nonsensical
potting of balls. "Not much point in finishing
this game, eh?"
Jean
glanced up, smirking. "Nope. It's somewhat screwed."
Glancing
over at Vadim, Dan lowered his voice. "You still
keeping the thought in mind? Because in that case we
could go and finish that game."
Vadim
nodded and put the cue down. "Yeah, let's ... go
to bed."
Dan
winked across the table at Jean, apologetically, "it's
late, you know. And we're old geezers. We need our beauty
sleep."
Jean
grinned. "No problem. I know which of the two games
I'd prefer ..." leaving that hanging in the room,
before waving Dan off. "Have fun, guys."
"Okay."
Dan dropped the cue, suddenly in a hurry, as obvious
as the hard-on he was still sporting, and he snatched
his shirt from the empty bench without further ado.
Waiting for Vadim to catch up, calling, "don't
wank yourselves blind," into the room as a good-night.
Jean
laughed. "Fuck you, too!" Flipping him the
bird, with no place to put his hard-on, and regarding
Dan's ass as he left the mess.
Dan
didn't bother putting the shirt back on even though
it was cool outside, as they rushed towards their shared
hut. "Still keeping that thought?" Glancing
at Vadim.
Vadim
nodded. "Aye." Looking around quickly, then
almost breaking into a trot, moving fast and in a straight
line to the tin hut. He opened the door, almost shoved
Dan inside, and began to shed clothes. Shirt was the
first to go, while Dan threw his own into a corner,
kicking the door shut and working on his belt buckle
and fly. Vadim sat down on the bed to remove the boots,
kicking them off, and lying back on the bed. "Fuck
... you and Jean ... you guys ... are really close",
he murmured, didn't even know why he was speaking, and
opening his belt and buttons.
"Are
we?" Dan didn't pay half as much attention as he
would have if the sight of Vadim, his own enduring hard-on,
and memories of hands and bodies, hadn't stopped him
from doing anything but wanting to fuck that arse. He
pushed his trousers down, then bending over and pulling
frantically on his boot laces. "You didn't seem
bothered, more like
earlier. With Matt."
"No,
not bothered." He was positive Jean had touched
him. Just to tease? And tease whom? Dan? Him. "It's
him that hates my guts." Or maybe used to. Vadim
slipped out of the camo trousers and tossed them to
the side, stretching out, inviting, hard.
"I
don't think he does. Whatever the fuck happened when
you arrived in camp, didn't look like hatred tonight."
Toeing the boots off, Dan pulled trousers and socks
down and off in one go, almost falling over when he
stumbled to the bed. Gazing down at the naked body,
his throat was suddenly as dry as his cock was hard.
"Maybe
... I'm wrong then." Maybe Jean had run out of
hatred, in the meantime. But somehow it wasn't back
to being buddies again, either.
"And
now, Vadim, now I want to fuck you till you scream."
Vadim
grinned, shuddering. "Yes, please." He reached
over for the oil, handing it to Dan who got onto the
mattress, pouring oil into his palm as Vadim moved onto
hands and knees. Briefly touching himself, then opening
his legs. "At least not ... in public."
"But
it'd be fucking hot." Dan murmured, staring down
at Vadim's arse and wondering if anything could ever
be as sexy as that view and the knowledge that this
was his. "Mine." Didn't realise he'd spoken
out loud. "Fucking mine."
"Yes.
Told you", Vadim whispered.
Dan
spread warmed oil with both hands onto the firmly muscled
buttocks, enjoying the feel beneath his hands, before
letting it run along the cleft, then rubbed around the
hole, along the dam and further down, all the way to
the front. Coating Vadim's cock as thickly as his arse,
until it was slippery, then stroked leisurely. Dan's
other hand began to fuck Vadim, first with one finger,
then quickly another and soon demanding more, making
him groan and push back, reacting out of instinct. No
fears tonight, and no shame.
"Your
arse is mine," Dan still didn't realise he was
uttering all of his thoughts aloud, "your body's
mine, your thoughts, every fucking thing. Mine. Everything."
Vadim
moaned, broadening his stance, head hanging down, watching
Dan between his legs. "All yours", he confirmed
again, feeling the fingers move inside and do it just
right, and he was soon panting with need, just from
fingers, but Dan knew him too well, knew exactly how
to handle him. "Fuck ... fuck me? Need ... more."
"More
aye." Dan pulled back until his hand left
Vadim's oil-glistening cock and his fingers remained
poised, barely breaching the ring of muscle. "More."
He needed more, too. More than ever before, and more
of what was his. Vadim. He knew every inch of the body
in front of him, had had that arse so many times but
more. "Fuck," Dan murmured, suddenly
understanding how he'd get more, and how he'd
give more. "Stay where you are. Don't move."
"No.
Won't." Vadim inhaled, catching his breath, damned
fucking needing, expecting Dan to move in and pound
his ass, shifting his weight.
Neither
of them noticed that the door had remained open, and
was silently pushed further ajar.
Vadim's
head was low, his arse high up in the air, and fuck,
yes, that was it, exactly that. Moving off the mattress
as fast as he could, Dan looked around the room, could
find nothing except for his webbed belt. Didn't care
that his hands were slick with oil, tore the belt out
of the trouser loops and knelt beside Vadim's head,
his cock brushing the other's face as he reached for
his hands. "You'll get more. Damn right."
Motioning to Vadim, "I want your hands in your
back."
Vadim
rubbed his cheek against Dan's cock, willing and ready
to give head, but broadened his stance further, straightening
into a kneeling position as he crossed his wrists on
his back, understanding with sudden clarity what Dan
wanted. Dan wanted a prisoner. And that thought made
his cock jump.
The
belt was looped around Vadim's wrists and pulled tight.
Too tight perhaps, but the way the dark green webbing
cut into sinews and bones made Dan's heart race even
faster, and the lust surged in his guts. "Do you
feel that?" He'd wanted to ask 'does it hurt?'
but realised deep inside that he wanted it to hurt,
to feel.
"Yes",
Vadim breathed, rough cloth rubbing against his skin
as he moved the wrists, testing the firmness. Part of
him should be terrified, but instead, all parts of him
agreed. "I feel." I feel my own lust, and
I feel this. I feel your lust, too.
Every
movement, every word watched from the door.
Moving
once more behind Vadim, with the legs opened further
and the stance broadened, the arse had become more vulnerable.
Dan stared at the hole, circling the puckering, tight
muscle with one finger, which made it tense and contract,
while pouring more oil one-handed onto Vadim's cheeks.
"Tell me how much you want this." Murmured,
his voice no more than a rumble. "Tell me what
it feels like when I fuck your arse raw."
Vadim
smiled at him. "The ... best thing I know. Apart
from fucking your ass raw." Dan chuckled
low as Vadim pushed back, curving his spine to open
up more for Dan. "Like ... like you own me. Truly
own me. And nobody ... else ... between us. Like everything's
just games, and we are life and death."
"But
we are life and death." The oil ran down
the cleft, dripping onto the mattress and Dan didn't
care. "In the end, it is only us." Rubbing
his hands all over glistening skin, slicking his cock
as he moved into position. "You're all that truly
matters." Dan reached for the loose end of the
belt once his cock breached through the muscle, poised
right there for a second. Breathing deeply, before tightening
his grip on the belt that connected himself with Vadim's
bound wrists. "You're fucking mine," breathed
out, "and nothing matters."
"Nothing
..."
Dan
slammed forward the next moment, groaning when he pushed
all the way in, and Vadim had to tense and lean back
to not lose his balance. He moaned loudly as Dan just
took him, took him like that, raw and powerful, and
his head fell back as his body fought to accommodate
Dan's size. Twitching, tensing, the burn of stretching
adding depth to the feeling. "Dan ..." The
name was a moan. "Need ..."
"Aye,"
one hand on Vadim's hip, the other around the belt,
"need you." From nought to fully fledged thrusting,
Dan didn't allow a moment of acclimatisation. He was
there, deep and primal, fucking with all the abandon
of the full strength of his body.
Vadim
lost all control. Not that he had any to start with.
Sounds between moans and groans and pleading, he just
took what Dan gave him, body fighting to keep on his
knees, not knowing that the man on the outside of the
door watched them, closely, watched Dan thrusting inside
and listened to Vadim's groans, picturing himself doing
the fucking and teasing. Fucking either of them in his
mind, imagining to smell and taste and lick them, hand
on his groin, rubbing through the cloth in time with
Dan's punishing thrusts, and approaching climax faster
than Vadim.
"Can't
... can't scream", whispered Vadim, "can't
... but I ... want to ..."
Dan
felt nothing but the tight heat and the yielding body
that kept its strength pitched against his own. He lasted
longer than he'd ever thought he could, fucking Vadim
with every ounce of his strength, and Vadim was helpless
at his mercy. Suppressing the sounds as much as he could,
just couldn't let go, not in camp, not here, but the
sounds that did come from his throat were enough to
put the man at the door over the edge, working himself
furiously and clenching his teeth hard as he came, splattering
the front of his camo trousers.
Finally,
release came crashing for Dan and his body was shaken
in the grip of his orgasm, while Vadim begged to be
taken over the edge, "please, Dan, help ... help
me ..." Almost collapsing, but Dan fought for control,
bent down, still inside, still gasping for breath, and
stroking Vadim's oil slicked cock, as furiously as he
had thrust into him. Taking him over the edge as close
as possible to his own, and Vadim crashed within seconds,
falling as he did, forward, onto his chest and face,
finally losing balance, defeated, much like a broken
prisoner, panting so hard he heard and saw nothing.
Dan
fell with him, on top of Vadim, spread out like a living
blanket. Skin on skin, breathing across sweat misted
muscles, his hands caressing along Vadim's body. Soothing,
loving, where words could and would not come. The silence
brought perfect unison.
The
man outside leaned his head against the door frame,
tried to calm, steady his pulse, watching the powerful
Russian collapse and Dan over him, caring in all that
fierceness, tender and protective, and was suddenly
almost envious of Vadim's abandon. Knowing Dan would
catch him if he'd choose to fall.
"What
... the fuck's going on", Jean barely breathed.
Neither
man inside was aware of the witness, and it took a long
time before Dan rolled off Vadim, working on opening
the loop around the wrists, while resting on his side,
face to face with Vadim. "Hey, Russkie." He
whispered softly, smiling.
Vadim
looked up, blue eyes very blue right now. "Hey...
hey stranger, fancy... meeting you here." He just
lay there, breathing, gazing at Dan as if that man alone
filled out his world. Nothing beyond that, not the place,
not the time, completely open and free that very instant.
"You ... you kill me ... every time."
"You've
had a lot of deaths in that case."
"Not
... nearly enough."
Dan
freed Vadim's wrists, throwing the oil stained belt
to the side before pulling the hands towards him, checking
them over. Veins standing out, skin somewhat raw. Vadim's
sensitive skin. Always too sensitive. "Thank you."
Murmured, his fingers circling Vadim's wrists.
Vadim
smiled, tiredly. "You're welcome. And thank you
... I needed that."
"So
did I." Leaning in to kiss Vadim, "today was
one of those days
" Dan had barely the strength
to do anything other than pull up their blankets. "I'm
getting too old for all of this." He chuckled quietly,
eyelids heavy. "You want to get cleaned up before
sleeping?"
"It's
alright." Vadim turned to move up to Dan, chest
to chest, one arm around Dan, forehead to forehead.
"Sleep. I'll ... get clean tomorrow."
Dan
smiled, already dropping off, as he wrapped his arm
around Vadim, murmuring sleepily, "love you."
In Russian.
Vadim
smiled, eyes already closed. "And I you."
Jean
pulled away, closing the door silently, feeling oddly
... protective of what he'd seen inside. Something that
shouldn't be disturbed or witnessed by somebody who
wouldn't get it. Checking that nobody had seen him,
he moved away into the night, quietly, and alone.
*
* *
One
week later, Vadim was on late shift and Dan had spent
the evening first in the gym and the in the Mess. When
he stepped outside into the night air, he sensed the
chill. It was late autumn, after all. Fishing for his
fags, he inhaled deeply with a sound of contentment,
when the nicotine hit his lungs.
He
slowly made his way to the vehicle park where the shift
would arrive, too mellow and sated to do more but grin
good humouredly at the odd guy who was out and about.
Dan leaned against the wall of the closest building,
smoking his second cigarette in a row, when he heard
the engines of the vehicles approaching, their beams
of light cutting through the darkness.
Vadim
was almost asleep walking. He'd slept like shit last
night, felt restless and nervous for some reason, and
had already been tired when he'd left for this shift.
Now, he wasn't only tired, he was barely walking, caked
in the dust that had a very specific taste. With grim
humour - that didn't actually feel funny, he thought
he could probably place any handful of dust one fed
him to one of the battlefields. Afghanistan, if anything,
tasted different. He got off once the jeep stopped,
and began unstrapping his body armour, enough so he
could move, but not enough to bang against his body
when walking. He meant to head straight towards the
armoury, then shower, and, he hoped, collapse in a bed
that was already warm.
"Hey,
sexy." Dan's voice came from the darkness, before
the red glow of the cigarette illuminated his face for
a moment.
Vadim
turned, helmet dangling from his fingers. Right. So
tired he'd walked almost straight past Dan. "You
mean me, stranger?" He gave a tired smile. "You
sure?"
Pushing
himself out of the shadows and two steps into the light
of one of the vehicles, Dan leaned back against the
wall, hip jutting out, grinning from behind his shades,
sporting his hustler pose. "Sure, I mean you, handsome."
Pulling on the fag once more, Dan let the smoke curl
out slowly. "10 dollar me love longtime."
Grinning.
Vadim
studied him with a lifted eyebrow, but he was too damn
tired to find a witty repartee. "Let's ... renegotiate
that price", he said, speech slightly slurred with
tiredness. "Tomorrow. Don't care what happens to
me tonight, though. Whatever."
"That
sounds like an invitation I can hardly resist."
Chuckling low, Dan stubbed out the remains of his fag.
"But I guess I have to restrain myself from molesting
you." Stepping closer with a wink.
"Molest
me tomorrow." Vadim began to move his feet towards
the armoury. "Keep me company?"
"Aye,
soldier." Placing his hand on Vadim's shoulder,
Dan walked with him, side by side. "I'd wash you
down but I guess the others would just be jealous of
the preferential treatment you get."
Vadim
glanced at him, seemingly mustering some amusement at
that thought. "Take that to the armoury, and I'd
be happy." He would be happy once his showered
body hit the horizontal. "Maybe find ... something
to drink, too?" He managed to walk mostly in a
straight line, wouldn't do to look sleep drunk. Just
pulling himself together again. "Getting too fucking
old", he murmured, in Russian, and didn't notice.
Dan
looked up, didn't comment, though. "Bullshit. You
got a few more years in you." Sticking to English.
"Just let me get your stuff and you head straight
on to the showers. I'll have some scran and water ready.
Alright?"
"Aye."
They
reached the armoury and Dan handled Vadim's flak vest
as if the other was a puppet, with Vadim just moving
arms and shoulders to help Dan free him. Felt ridiculously
nice, being taken care of. The other guys weren't any
better, only that they had to rely on a comrade or fumble
around when Vadim got the full treatment. Mercenary
faggot couple. Midge's insults didn't sting, not right
now. Being a couple was so damn nice, Vadim didn't even
know where to begin in counting his blessings. He grinned
as Dan took the weapon out of his hand, before steering
him to the window of the building, to show Vadim's face
to the guard inside, who nodded and cleared him from
signing personally.
"Off
you go." Delivering a mild slap onto Vadim's backside,
Dan turned towards the building. "See you showered
and clean in 'Hotel McFadyen'."
"Five
star if there ever was any ..." Vadim trotted off,
managing to not fall asleep under the hot water. When
he returned, he had a pile of dusty camo under one arm,
wrapped in a towel, and headed straight for Dan's tin
hut. Their shared place.
Not
quite five star, what with the mattresses on the floor,
a single lamp and otherwise pretty much nothing, but
Dan was naked, sitting cross legged amidst the blankets,
a plate with thickly cut beef and cheese sandwiches
on the floor and a two litre bottle of water, straight
from the cooler. He looked up when Vadim entered, smiling.
"I'm afraid the accommodation isn't quite up to
standard, but the room service is doing its best."
Vadim
dropped his kit into a corner, locked the door, then
got onto the mattress, sitting down in front of Dan,
yawning like his jaw tried to pop out. "It has
a door we can lock, Dan. See? It's great. Really good."
He reached for the water first and downed a good three
quarters of a litre before setting the bottle down,
then took one of the sandwiches, chewing fast and ravenous.
Slowing down once his mouth was full, chewing some more
and just enough to get the food down, while reaching
for the next. "What I needed ..."
"See,
maybe you are getting old after all. You need
sarnies more than naked me." Dan laughed, "that
wouldn't have happened back in Afghanistan, eh?"
Leaning forward, he mock-glared at Vadim, who had stopped
chewing and looked puzzled, but since Dan wasn't wearing
his shades, the amused gleam in his dark eyes gave everything
away. "Or are you already tired of me being here
every night?"
Vadim
swallowed and grinned. "Try me. Tomorrow. Don't
want to fall asleep in the middle of it."
"That's
alright, then. I'll let you off this time." Stretching
out, Dan made himself comfortable on the side, watching
Vadim finish off the second sandwich and then drink
some more. "I'm yours as a 'cuddle toy' whenever
you're ready." He smirked toothily.
Vadim
put the bottle down and smiled, sleepily and unguarded,
which seemed tender and content and very tired. "Of
course you're mine", he murmured and stretched
out to lie right next to Dan, arm across Dan's waist,
head on his shoulder, while pulling up the blanket around
them. He inhaled, then exhaled deeply, and found himself
slightly more awake now than just five minutes ago.
"Had a good day?"
"Aye,
easy shift and then off in the afternoon." Turning
his head to reach Vadim's forehead, Dan kissed it and
tightened his arm around him. "Saw Jean for a chat.
He's off in three weeks on R&R before the wedding
in April. We're invited. It's in France."
"France.
Never been there." Vadim rubbed his face against
Dan's shoulder, just enjoying Dan close, his smell,
his warmth. "That's good. We'll need to think of
a present." He yawned again. "Shit, I'm so
fucked."
"I'm
sure I can come up with a present." Dan murmured,
placing another kiss on Vadim's head before falling
silent, and very soon Vadim's breath deepened and slowed,
the arm around Dan relaxed, becoming heavy. He was out
like a light.
It
wouldn't take Dan long to fall asleep as well. Not with
Vadim wrapped around him, and he knew that eventually
he'd find himself spooning behind his Russian. The best
way to sleep.
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