1992, Berlin, Germany
was still asleep when the sun streamed through the open
windows. The weather had done a turn for the better,
and was now doing its best to lure Berlin's population
out of their houses, but Hooch lay entangled in the
duvet, on his back, one arm thrown across his face and
over his eyes.
decided he'd let him deal with his jet lag, got out
of the bed and first set up coffee, which started to
gurgle when he had a shave. Going for a shower and then
getting into his jogging kit. He peered over to the
bed to check whether the American was stirring, but
there was no movement.
was about to walk back out, when Hooch drawled, "thought
you promised coffee."
did." Vadim turned back and headed into the kitchen,
pouring Hooch a mug of black coffee, to set it down
on the nightstand. "I was planning to go jogging
and pick up some Broetchen and Aufschnitt
... that's typical 'buns' here, but they are quite different
from anything you've ever eaten."
Hooch had pulled himself up to sit when Vadim came back.
Closing his hand around the mug and sipping the hot
brew. His short dark hair was sticking up in all directions,
which - in addition to the tired face and half-grin
- made him look everything but fierce. Everything but
a killer. If only there wasn't the hint of tension in
his body, which never left him. "Been to Germany,
but never out of camp." He looked at Vadim over
the rim of his cup, then leaned back.
had the total immersion experience." Vadim grinned.
"I'll be back with breakfast."
the coffee." Vadim headed out of the door, finding
a route that took him through some public park and on
the way back past the bakery and the butcher's. Ordering
the goods in German, and exchanging minor chit-chat
- yes, he was on holiday, just for a week, maybe two,
yes, he liked Germany. He fell into an easy trot on
the way back and unlocked the door again, finding Hooch
on the floor of the living room, doing push-ups, naked.
From the sheen of sweat on his body, he had been at
it for a while.
watched the muscles' movements, the breaths, enjoying
the view which inspired him. He'd have loved to get
back to bed right now, sweaty himself, Hooch sweaty
and pumped up. Nice thought. He'd keep it.
dropped the goods off in the kitchen, had another quick
shower, and came back out in faded jeans and a t-shirt,
ready to set up breakfast, when Hooch met him in the
hallway. "Place got a washing machine?"
the stuff in the basket in the bathroom, I'll see if
I can find the instruction booklet later." Vadim's
eyes trailed to Hooch's chiselled front, the tanned,
broad shoulders. The fact that this man was a killing
machine. It pressed all the right buttons. "They
have some nice kinds of ham here", he murmured,
trying to focus on breakfast, but Hooch didn't seem
to listen, instead regarding him with the customary
half-grin. Even if the grin wasn't that obvious, the
growing interest down below was telling, and Vadim's
throat tightened, one appetite warring against the other.
me keep the thought." Hooch turned, presenting
his bare backside as he walked away and into the bathroom,
and as before, kept the door ajar.
is half the fun, Vadim thought. "Pretty sure I
can keep you entertained." Grinning, he headed
into the kitchen and prepared breakfast. Whether that
would lead Hooch to rate him higher for housewife skills
than Matt was anybody's guess, but the alternative,
a housekeeper, would have prevented views like a naked
Hooch doing push-ups. He cooked eggs, laid out various
kinds of ham, and placed the buns in a little basket
he'd found, all that with coffee and orange juice.
fucking H Christ." Hooch's voice was heard from
the doorframe. Leaning against it in black jeans and
a grey t-shirt, feet still bare. "Marry me?"
The grin in his freshly shaved face was a rare, full-blown
laughed. "You really aren't used to getting decent
food, hm? Tuck in." He still couldn't help the
grin. "First thing an athlete learns is what to
eat and what not to eat. This stuff is high on salt,
but a good shot at protein. Orange juice and coffee
accelerate each other, as vitamin C and caffeine have
a synergistic effect." He waved his hand. "I
might give you the full English breakfast tomorrow,
maybe. That's a sure recipe for a coronary."
laughed, a short, dry sound, as he sat down. "I
know, but ain't practicable. Live on whatever shit's
available." He cocked a brow, "should learn
cooking. Would up my market price." Reaching for
a crispy roll, he buttered it well and put a selection
of meats and cheeses on top. Liking his sandwiches with
an eclectic mix of simultaneous tastes.
on what market you're talking about. I'd rate you pretty
highly, but then, I go for your type." He stuck
to the dry-cured ham, relishing the taste and quality
of the meat. "I guess we could rent a car. Should
make it easier to go to Berlin, even though the trains
are good and cheap. I've seen a number of shops that
could fit the bill. We'll just have to browse a bit.
And maybe drop in at Frau Klein's for pancakes. German-style
good. Give me food and I'm yours." The peeks of
humour that came to the surface were rare, and despite
the level of tension that never left him, Hooch was
more relaxed than Vadim had ever seen him. Matt had
to have a knack for touching Hooch where little else
" biting into another bun,
talking around a mouthful, "without flies feasting
on the meat before." He washed it all down with
coffee, on the third mug by now. "Know of any surplus
stores?" Looking straight at Vadim, from one second
to another the intensity in his eyes had cranked up.
paused, then smiled slowly. Surplus stores? Military
kit, then. Oh, that would be interesting. "I'm
sure people know. What will it be for you?" Hooch
decked out in his US camo? And what about himself? He
had an idea where this was going, and he didn't mind.
kit's not important." Finishing off the last of
his coffee, tension crept visibly up Hooch's spine,
but it wasn't the bad kind. "You were an Officer.
was. Made it to Major, towards the end. I ran a lot
of our operations in Kabul. Liaison, training the Afghans
to fend for themselves, interrogation." The last
word was smooth in his mouth. "I didn't interrogate,
I organized it. Collated the data. Wrote reports."
Vadim looked at Hooch. "Peaked cap, bulled boots,
greatcoat? Or rather spetsnaz look, out in the fields?"
slow grin crept onto Hooch's face. Twisting the mug
on the table, it never span out of control. "Ever
Vadim smiled, and wasn't it funny, really, that, in
these circumstances, it aroused him. Like it aroused
Hooch, who knew what it meant that he'd been a Russian
officer. The bogeyman himself. If it got Hooch off,
if it relaxed him, there was no harm done. It was risky,
somehow. It meant remembering the other man, the one
that had been destroyed. But maybe it would actually
be good to do that.
go shopping." Hooch let the mug spin out of his
hand and it came to a stop right at the edge of the
table. He stood up, lingered at the table, half aware
of domestic chores that so very little fitted into his
world. Plates. Cutlery. Food. Fridge. Washing up. "Just
can take a lot." Dark eyes intense, "and I
don't do safe words."
know when you break", said Vadim, it just slipped
out, even though part of him was shocked. Breaking?
This had been about sex, now it was about torture. Fuck.
Then why was his body so very much and unmistakably
interested? Would he really find the moment when Hooch
started to come apart? Keep on the safe side? Hooch
wanted him to cross that line. Could he? Vadim inhaled
intensity grew in Hooch's eyes, until they were burning
with something indecipherable. He nodded. "Yeah."
He severed the contact and turned away, leaving chores,
kitchen and Vadim behind.
only then could breathe again. Just to sort his thoughts,
he cleared away the table, placed everything in the
dishwasher, found the instructions and started the machine.
Every now and then pausing as images flashed across
his mind, searing him with that force. With a sudden,
stomach-twisting need. Hooch just cranked up the intensity.
Every time. He wanted nothing more than head right back
to bed, for a quick, savage fuck.
though, reappeared in the doorway, dressed in stylish
hiking boots, designed for 'urban wear' rather than
hiking, and a black leather jacket thrown over his t-shirt.
"Should have helped." Offering a half-cocked
grin. "I'm lousy."
don't feel my masculinity threatened, that's okay."
It was more Vadim's sanity that was threatened, seeing
Hooch in broad daylight, like that. Fuck. The grin,
the ease, and the way he kept striking sparks off him,
with everything he did. He brushed past Hooch, to head
over to get shoes and his own jacket, slightly more
elegant, but still outdoor type clothes.
We just walk down the road and get one. There's a taxi
rank next to the bakery." Vadim checked he had
his keys, wallet, then left the bungalow, locked the
door behind them. Taxi, main station, train. He had
to force himself to pay attention to the outside world.
Hooch had a way to distract him, and the images in his
mind's eye did nothing to help him. Neither the lazy
grace with which Hooch sat opposite him on the train,
one foot on the heater grill, the other leg stretched
out, like he was presenting the goods. Teasing was clearly
a word in his vocabulary, even though he didn't appear
to be conscious of it.
at the main station just a little later, they walked
the streets, and Vadim had intended to show Hooch some
of the sights, but wasn't sure whether they shouldn't
just locate the goods, pay for them and head back as
soon as possible. It became clearer when Hooch stopped
at some of the sights they passed, asking occasional
questions, showing an interest in the tour, which had
no particular touristy character, but happened to pass
several sights anyway.
the Brandenburg gate, they found somebody selling a
ragtag collection of various military bits and pieces,
some hearkening back to the Second World War. Much of
it was recent, a lot of Eastern Germany army stuff,
some Russian stuff. The seller wasn't German or Russian,
but he had a friend who sold 'complete sets', he assured
them. Getting the address scribbled on a piece of paper,
Vadim suggested to go by taxi, but Hooch stopped him
with that customary half-grin.
know where to get curry sausages?"
here ... too central. Tends to be small, dingy places."
Vadim looked around, trying to figure out the best way
to find one, couldn't remember if they'd passed any
of them on their little tour through the very centre.
A small detour brought them finally to an "Imbiss",
where somebody, who again didn't look German at all,
served "Currywurst" and "Pommes",
and even though there was likely absolutely nothing
healthy in that food, it was great stuff.
enjoyed his portion so much, he got a second one, this
time with extra curry powder. He usually ate with the
same intensity with which he did anything, as if the
food or drink could be the last one.
got a taxi and found the shop easily. It smelt somewhat
musky, but had, indeed, the full set. Vadim spotted
the Russian camo and coats right away, and made his
way there, while Hoch lingered along the shelves of
bits and pieces of kit. Occasionally pulling something
out and studying it, until he got to the shop keeper.
"You speak English?"
shop keeper nodded. "Yes, of course. Are you American?"
raised a brow, perfectly aware that his accent would
label him unmistakably. "You got handcuffs?"
shop keeper nodded, waving Hooch towards a shelf with
various different kinds, ranging from the cheap ones
that were by far the most common, to proper police type
restraints that were connected with a joint, not a chain.
picked up the police ones, weighing them and checking
them over. He didn't even glance at the cheap ones.
He picked up two sets, placed them onto the counter.
"Will be looking for more." Vanishing once
again into the maze of shelves and baskets. He finally
found what he'd been looking for in a corner, next to
the uniforms. Picking out several lengths of rope, made
from manmade fibre. Peering through the stacks of uniforms,
looking for Vadim. "Found something?"
stood in front of a tall mirror and adjusted the greatcoat
about his shoulders, frowning in thought. "I lost
some bulk", he murmured darkly. "This size
used to fit properly." He reached for the cap and
put it on, tipping it at the correct angle.
old were you when it fit?" Hooch's voice appeared
in Vadim's back, dark eyes were watching him through
the mirror with something that was clearly appreciation
and ... hunger.
Even mid-thirties." Vadim smiled, making eye contact
in the mirror.
only keep bulk after forty if you take supplements."
You mean, steroid shots?" Vadim grinned. "I
used to do that. I was seriously into 'body-building'",
saying that with a fake Russian accent, then regarding
himself critically in the mirror. "The next size
down is too small, though."
lucky your balls haven't shrivelled to a prune."
Hooch flashed a brief grin. "Met a few of those
on the prowl. Muscles, strength, and no stamina."
He raised a brow, "posers."
laughed. "I just wanted bulk for wrestling, and
to look as imposing as I could. And, yeah, I was bored
in Afghanistan, between missions. And before we went
there. Tajikistan." He glanced at a display case
that held many of the old medals and Christmas tree
trimmings, as he'd thought of them, likely to be had
for a pittance. Including the veteran star for those
that had served in Afghanistan. Another one he didn't
have anymore, and would never wear again. He selected
merely those that displayed the rank. Major. Not Captain.
That was for Hooch's sake, the higher the better, he
thought. "I take the lot", he said to the
shop keeper. Not haggling. It wouldn't break the bank.
got changed again, could still smell the uniform on
him as he slipped back into his clothes, then got out
the wallet and paid.
paid for the cuffs with Deutschmark, pushing the items
into Vadim's line of view, together with the ropes,
and waited, leaning against the counter, while the shop
keeper put everything into an assortment of recycled
ropes, and a Soviet uniform. If the shop keeper knew
what they were planning, he didn't move a muscle in
his face, industriously making money and not caring
about anything else. In any case, Vadim was glad when
they were outside.
want to shop for more?" Hooch fished for his cigarettes.
He didn't smoke often, a fraction of Dan's habit.
think I'm set. Unless you want some 'toys'." Vadim
shrugged. "Stuff like ... dildos. And, well. I
forgot the lube. That means, I have some, but we might
want more." He felt unreal, standing outside the
shop, discussing dildos. With a former enemy. A Delta
with the need to get punished. And as aroused as he
eyes flashed at the same time as the flame touched his
cigarette. "I'm game. Where?"
follow me." Vadim headed back to the main station,
where several sex shops had signs out, and it was strange
to enter one and enter it with Hooch, but on the other
hand, he really wanted lube and all the other stuff.
Suddenly facing shelves upon shelves with porn, weird
gimmicks, and a whole range of dildos and vibrators.
A woman behind the counter, looking like any other shop
Vadim turned, he saw Hooch for the first time rattled.
Looking around the shop that seemed no different to
any clothes shop, just that it sold a more interesting
variety of goods. "Germans are weird." Hooch
muttered, then caught himself the next second and steered
towards a shelf with dildos. So many to choose from,
he meticulously walked along to look at each of them.
kept his gaze away from the shopkeeper and stayed close
to Hooch. Which, he suddenly realised, gave away what
their relations with each other were. Two gay guys looking
at toys together. Oh fuck. He blinked for a moment,
then forced himself to breathe. "I prefer meat",
he murmured into Hooch's ear, but remembered the guy
in Glasgow and how spaced out he'd been. Nothing else
short of an arm could have done that.
Hooch turned, a dildo in each hand, two different sizes.
One more realistic, the other
a challenge. "Meat
doesn't come in all sizes."
Vadim peered at the bigger one and shuddered briefly.
Dan could fit in a fist, but he was somewhat squeamish
about that thought. "Well, and it's not something
you can keep in a military bergan, I guess." Vadim
laughed softly, embarrassed to the bone, but also still
no. You can keep the stuff. Feel free to use it."
The quirk of Hooch's lips left no question what he meant
and the raising of a brow told Vadim that Hooch wasn't
convinced it wouldn't get used on Vadim himself.
Vadim grinned. "Well, pick with whatever you're
'comfortable' with." Only realizing the pun when
he'd said it.
clue." Hooch shrugged, "whatever hurts like
fuck and doesn't cause lasting injuries."
like fuck. Vadim paused again, feeling another surge
of dark lust inside, and was sure his face and eyes
betrayed that. Causing him to head over to the lube,
checking out several different kinds of brands, which
took him forever in his state. Finally going with stuff
that was compatible with just about everything and didn't
leave marks, according to the bottle. Nothing fragranced
or flavoured either, just the plain stuff. The condoms
were a bit more of a challenge, mostly because there
were so many different kinds. Looking over at Hooch,
who had found a shopping basket and had filled it with
the dildos and a gag. Nothing else caught his interest.
Like military kit and clothes, everything had to be
functional. Perhaps even people.
want to use them?" Hooch gestured to the condoms.
shrugged. "I ... I should be clean." Taking
a risk with Hooch, but he wanted all of the man, every
scrap of feeling. The things they'd be playing with,
and then the safety measure of latex. It jarred in his
clean. Get myself tested every time." Leaving it
between them what he meant. "Not going to infect
anyone because I couldn't stop it."
nodded, stepping away from the condoms. "Okay."
Couldn't stop it. Why did every word echo and
go straight to his balls? "Right, we're done then?
We probably can still catch the next train out."
Looking at his watch. "Easily. Next one leaves
nodded and took the lube out of Vadim's hand, adding
it to his basket. He stopped a few steps further down
the aisle, paused for a mere second before picking up
an enema kit. The sales lady was completely business-like,
and spoke heavily accented English.
were soon back in the station, catching their train
with several minutes to spare. Hooch slouched in his
seat, the same way as he had done on the way into the
centre, the assortment of bags in the rack above them.
I got some steak from the butchers. Add some sour cream
and baked potatoes and we're set." Vadim grinned.
"Yes, I plan ahead for food, if only the next two
or three meals."
Really got to marry you." Hooch moved his head
back, chuckling, uncaring of a few glances from fellow
passengers. He was anonymous, in another country, on
R&R, and the military be damned if he gave a shit
about anything right now.
need. I won't get pregnant, and I'm as thoroughly dishonoured
as one can possibly be." Ouch. That stung. He hadn't
meant to say that. It had been a joke about dishonoured
maidens, but had turned to a big chunk of truth.
Hooch leaned forward.
mean, in a ... you know. Sexual way." Never mind
social, military, national. Vadim briefly closed his
eyes. He couldn't make this a joke again, it had rattled
him too much. The complete wrong thing to say. Or think.
Both. "Maybe I'll tell you the story one day. Let's
say I have a British passport because Russia denies
my existence." Pausing for a moment, looking at
Hooch. "Let's be friends and comrades, instead?"
was close, looking at Vadim, and the understanding of
something that could not be said was there, and no more
questions followed. "Yeah. Easy." He settled
back in his seat, looking out of the window.
murmured Vadim, meaning it. It didn't take long and
the main station was announced, with time enough for
them to gather their bags and head out. Vadim hailed
a taxi back to the bungalow, opened the door and allowed
Hooch to step in. "I'll fix the steaks and check
whether I find the instructions for the washing machine",
he said, dropping the bags in the bedroom.
me to help?" The way Hooch stood, still in his
leather jacket, a hand in the back pocket of his black
jeans, he didn't mean household chores.
swallowed. The man had a way of throwing him all the
time. "Such as?" Lifting an eyebrow, gaze
travelling down the body, and his own body wanted to
shift the pressure of the constant arousal through much
of the day. A blowjob? Or getting ready for the 'game',
only that it wasn't a game.
shrugged, then flashed a grin, but didn't answer. "I'll
be exercising, alright? Too much shopping." Turning
away, back into the hallway.
exhaled again. Fuck. And he'd get to watch it, of course.
He gathered up what little dirty laundry they had by
now and stuffed it into the washing machine, then found
the booklet on a shelf above the machine - these tidy
Germans - and started it.
reappeared shortly after, wearing nothing but a pair
of boxers. Positioning himself in the middle of the
hallway, he used the free space - easily viewed from
the kitchen - for a routine of isometric exercises,
combined with push ups, triceps dips, squats and back
to the push ups. Two-handed, one handed, and a variation
of both, with arms in different positions.
watching him transfixed for long moments, Vadim managed
to return to the kitchen, where he began to make food,
only interrupted by glances at Hooch's body. That didn't
take down the arousal, but he managed to boil the potatoes,
fix the salad, and the steaks were still bloody enough
to writhe with pain when he stabbed them. "I assume
you like them bloody?"
looked up, a fine sheen of sweat on his chest when he
pulled his legs under him into a squat, balancing on
his heels with his arms folded across his knees. "What,
like, makes you think so?" Half-grinning.
me see. These are fresh, no flies around, while I assume
you boil and cook and grill everything to death wherever
you are, just to make sure you don't die of food poisoning.
Raw meat, however, tastes very different, and I think
the animalistic thing could appeal to you, as well as
the fact that it's a novelty when you're used to the
boiled to a pulp fare."
grin grew, getting up from the position with ease and
an odd grace. "I'm from the South, man, that's
all you need to know about me and bloody steaks."
grinned, crossed his arms in front of his chest, then
dropped one hand and adjusted himself, very deliberately.
"Are you keeping the thought, too?"
walked closer, positioned himself in front of Vadim,
arms crossed as well, mirroring his stance. "Haven't
had any other thought all day."
here." Vadim wanted to touch him, badly, but that
wasn't what Hooch wanted. And he shouldn't assume just
because Dan liked touches and kisses and cuddles, that
the same held true for this guy. The very fact they
had fallen asleep and woken up apart showed the difference,
even though they were very at ease with each other,
with just the fact that Hooch often surprised him. "Whatever
happens ..." but the sentence didn't make any sense.
Hooch didn't need a 'trust me', and wouldn't follow
a 'talk to me', and they weren't in love, either. Hooch
wanted that other man, the one he had been. Maybe
Hooch, right now, only saw that in him, a person guarding
something that he wanted. Violence. Pain. The potential
of death. "Strange. It's easier when they don't
want it", Vadim murmured. "Let's eat. The
steaks should be relaxed now."
reached out, "friends and comrades, buddy?"
Quietly, his eyes showing a rare warmth when he smiled.
took the hand and pressed it. "You keep ... surprising
me", he murmured. "Let's have that food. I
think we rather need it before the night's up."
Holding Hooch's right hand with his, then reaching to
touch his groin with the palm of his other hand, pressing
against the package. "Or I'll eat you, eh?"
that'll be my job." Hooch grinned and squeezed
Vadim's hand before letting go. He brushed past him,
deliberately close, and got to the table. Still in nothing
but the shorts and not giving a damn. "Looks damn
fine. Should reciprocate, but haven't got my own place
and can't cook."
pay a nice restaurant, then."
would we fuck?" Hooch's lips quirked. "On
But ideally at least in some kind of safe house."
food was fairly soon demolished, the steaks on the raw
side of 'just right'. Good quality stuff though, like
most food Vadim had had in Germany so far, minus the
stuff from the fast-food place, which had still tasted
really good. "What about", Vadim ventured,
seeing that it got dark outside, "you clean up
and have a long shower?"
Vadim pointed at the fridge. "It's in the freezer."
Hooch raided the freezer and found a couple of glasses,
pouring both full to the brim. He emptied his own, pushing
the other towards Vadim with a half-grin, then poured
a second one, equally full, and took it with him into
the shower after a stop-over at one of the bags, pulling
the kit out. "Will be a while."
cleared away the stuff again, then checked on the purchases.
Things would have to go fairly fast to work out. He
just couldn't imagine a cold start. It had to be intense
from the beginning, or he probably wouldn't have the
guts to do it ... not the way Hooch wanted.
kept the door almost shut, but not completely. The sound
of the loo flushing was heard several times before the
shower ran for a long while. At the same time, Vadim
worked frantically, getting into the stuff as fast as
he could, easily beating his own chemical warfare suit
took a length of rope, knowing it would bruise, but
was less dangerous than any cable, and then, knowing
the layout of the bathroom, he opened the door a bit
more. Moving carefully, counting on Hooch having soap
in his eyes or maybe being somewhat deafened by the
water running into his ears - or something. Something
like him wanting not to notice.
crossed the distance quickly, shoved aside the shower
curtain in the same movement as he brought the rope
to bear. Slipping it around Hooch's throat, who only
managed to turn a fraction, fingers scrabbling for the
rope. Vadim tightened it in an instant, and almost lifting
Hooch out of the bathtub with sheer force, making him
stumble, and using that to wrestle him to the ground.
All done in deadly silence except for Hooch's struggling
breaths that seemed deafening in the room, as he fought
against Vadim with all his strength, no holds barred.
This was no game.
managed to get on top, but it was a ride, the Delta
fighting tooth and nail, and Vadim did not doubt for
a moment that Hooch used everything he had - and would
continue to use it. Shit. He should have brought a gun.
Or a second man, he thought, with a chilling echo of
that night in Kabul. And even more chilling was how
fucking hard it made him. He kept the rope taut, knowing
it was dangerous, but counted, counted the seconds as
he restricted the big artery. Cutting off oxygen to
the brain, counting because Hooch had to pass out, and
at the same time, if he kept going for too long, Hooch
would wake up with brain damage, or not wake up at all.
face turned red, mouth open, desperate sounds, movements
growing uncoordinated. Flailing, still fighting, body
bucking up, but in the height of that movement he suddenly
crashed, eyes rolling back, hands falling off Vadim,
as his head slumped to the side. Passed out cold.
dreams", Vadim murmured, releasing the makeshift
garrotte immediately. Checking on the bruise, which,
he assumed, Hooch would be able to explain somehow.
Horsing around, maybe. Didn't matter. He gathered up
the body, lifted it with some effort, and put it into
a fireman's lift. Heading out towards the bedroom, he
dropped Hooch on the bed, took his hands and locked
them in the handcuffs behind his back, then placed him
down onto the floor to tie his legs with a length of
rope. Enough to walk, not enough to run or kick. He
checked his vitals again, not doubting that Hooch would
come round in a little. Then touching the body - stroking
and caressing the muscles, the damp skin, the cock he
wanted, part of him wanted to be repaid in kind. Stroking
the cock, he wanted to suck it, but that wouldn't be
part of the role. Sucking a prisoner? Wouldn't happen.
drew in a painful sounding breath, and jerked awake
the next moment. Eyes opening wide, disoriented for
a split second, before he got his bearings and Vadim
could see how his mind worked, how he mentally checked
himself. Muscles twitching, testing the cuffs, and dark
eyes flickering into every corner, checking his position
and that of the enemy. The tiniest indication of tension,
before he threw himself onto his back, knees together,
coming up the same instance, flying towards Vadim's
managed to begin a turn, the kick hit him in the shoulder,
painful as Hooch's whole body was behind it, and it
sent him a good yard away. The fun had just begun, and
he managed to get to his feet and out of range, at least
for a moment. His shoulder hurt bad, and he moved around
the man, regarding him, expecting another assault. Too
bad he didn't have a gun, or even Vanya with him. Only
to threaten. And to control. Staring down at Hooch.
American. Prisoner. Prisoner did it. Naked. His. He
reached behind himself and took the knife he'd found
in the kitchen for that purpose, and showed it to Hooch.
"Are you done with the thrashing?"
said nothing, glaring up at Vadim, rage in his dark
eyes. Rage and so much goddamned hunger, this really
was only the beginning. No word, no movement, the near-perfect
deceit, until he suddenly tensed again, hands fists
in his back, pushing himself up and backwards, aiming
to kick Vadim's face. Vadim dodged this again, faster
this time, and the moment Hooch's body touched the ground
again, he kicked him. The boot making a dull, thudding
noise as it hit flesh. First into Hooch's back, the
next kick into his side, and while Hooch didn't scream,
he had to use all his control to keep silent. Breathing
noisily, frantically irregular, his body tried to curl
into itself, to protect the vital organs.
knew well what that felt like. He'd been pissing a lot
of blood from all the hits and kicks into the kidneys.
He reached down, grabbing Hooch by the throat, forcing
him up and then backhanded him several times, hard,
making his head fly left and right, snarling at him.
moment Vadim stopped, Hooch spit a mouthful of blood
at him. The rage had intensified. Fuelled by pain and
anger that fed the hunger, while hunger and greed fuelled
the rage in return. He was on his knees, fighting the
pain, but fighting the man had only been paused. Not
you. Done yet?" Vadim shouted at him, eyes blazing,
he did feel the anger, got into the scene. The bungalow
just bled away and everything blurred.
Hooch forced out. Spitting blood again.
was just him and Hooch, right here, right now. The intensity
again breathtaking. "You can have it the easy way
or the hard way." Adding: "Scum."
Me!" Hooch snarled. Teeth stained red.
bared his teeth, again hitting Hooch, but now punching
him straight in the face, then releasing him. Hooch
hit the floor, where he lay dazed for a moment, taken
out by the blinding pain behind his eyes. "There
is no reason for you to resist ... we already know everything.
We even got your team members to confirm it. All you
have to do is tell us the story of your infiltration,
and you will live."
you." Hooch shook. Snorting to stop the blood run
down the back of his throat. Staining the floor instead.
"No chance." The stare of defiance was burning
bright in his dark eyes. "I'm fucking Delta!"
And your team members aren't?" Vadim raised an
eyebrow, mocking him. "You are here in breach of
international laws. You have entered our territory.
The border police might have shot you in error, you
Hooch turned his head, wiping blood onto his shoulder,
trying to breathe properly, but his nose hurt like fuck
and was swelling up.
may well be or not be." Vadim smiled, maliciously.
"Nobody will ask questions where you are, because
you're not officially here. You are at my mercy."
flickered in Hooch's eyes, and then his lips pulled
into a mocking grin. "Am on my own."
operate in small teams. You Americans are herd animals.
Nothing more. And you are not the leader of the pack."
Picking up the knife again. "What's your name?"
eloquent." Vadim placed the knife against Hooch's
throat, staring into his eyes, then, with the other
hand, removed the cap. "But I may well fuck you.
And then call the guards to fuck you, too." Smiling
again. "What now, bitch? Any more niceties?"
breath quickened, in pace with his heartbeat that was
hammering against his chest. He knelt still, very still
with that blade against his throat, but his cock was
hardening. Despite everything or probably because of
it. "Won't tell you." Lips hardly moving.
eyes trailed down to the cock and he wanted Hooch so
much in that very same moment. Needed to stay in control.
Looking into Hooch's eyes, the man wouldn't suck him.
No way. He'd bite. Likely accepting the consequences
just to prove a point. But getting sucked by this dangerous,
defiant bastard was a price, even though he had no idea
how to claim it. He lowered the knife, letting the blade
whisper down to the chest, then, gently, almost, cut
into the skin, and Hooch twitched and gave an involuntary
hiss. Deep enough for it to bleed, watching the red
form a drop, and lingering, not falling, not running,
just beading. Vadim's lips were open, breath going a
little faster. "What is your name?"
didn't answer. Had no answer, and he growled, anger
rising like a burning tide, spitting at Vadim.
used the open hand again to hit Hooch, several times.
Left, right, six, eight times, until Hooch's head hung
low, without resistance. Too dazed to focus.
forget it's you who's in my power. Not vice versa.
You were caught. Out cold. Fabulous soldiering, right
there." Stepping back again, Vadim was warm from
the fight and the hitting and he slipped out of the
greatcoat, tossing it across the bed. Arms crossed as
he stood close to Hooch, but not too close. "You
will break, Delta. Even if I have to kill you, you will
forced his head back up, the bleeding had stopped despite
the recent hits. "No." His voice betrayed
the pain, but then it strengthened, hardened, when the
rage came back and his fists clenched in his back. "Can't."
can't? I'll help you." Vadim felt coldness trickle
down his back.
help you. Just let go. Konstantinov.
stepped too close, confused by the sudden memory, Konstantinov
had been there, just like he was, now, but Konstantinov
hadn't been hard. No lust in it. Just power. But what
strong, heady stuff that power was.
took the chance immediately, jumped up from his knees,
onto his heels, and propelled his whole body weight
snapped out of the thought immediately, cursed himself
as he lost balance and fell, crashing down, managing
while falling to kick and make sure that Hooch didn't
get on top when the kick hit the neck. Quickly getting
back onto his feet, while Hooch remained on his side
for a moment, coughing. Vadim's heart pounded, moving
back to prevent a follow-on attack. "Bastard. We've
took the rope again, slid it over Hooch's head before
he could try and defend himself. There was very little
Hooch could do, and with that angle, Vadim wrestled
him to the ground, knee in his back, forcing him down
with strength that was part anger, part shock, part
lust. He used the rope to tie the legs and the arms
together, connecting the cuffs and the rope between
Hooch's legs, then, hog-tied, Hooch couldn't move, he
was held down, and all Hooch could do was try desperately
to contain the sounds of distress.
are not cooperating. You had your chance."
took the ball gag and placed the knife at Hooch's bloodied
lips. "Open, or I cut off your lips." Forcing
it through the teeth, then tying it in the back. "What
now? Any brave or clever ideas? Bitch?"
breathing, nostrils flaring with every shallow breath,
Hooch glared at Vadim. His eyes, though, showed more
than defiance or anger. There was pain, even hatred,
and undeniable lust. Greed. Greed for more. Greed to
let go. To be made to let go. 'Make me'.
stared at him, saw the challenge, and wanted it. At
the same time it was like Konstantinov was with him
in the room, studying his technique. Fuck, he thought.
He could almost sense the bastard, could almost hear
his voice. Smell him. But it made him only angry, right
now. He took the rope around Hooch's neck and connected
that to his legs, pulling the head far back into his
neck, via the handcuffs. Forcing Hooch into a painful
position with all weight on his hips - and his cock
pressed into the ground.
sat down after he'd checked the knots, and looked at
Hooch, every now and then checking his watch. Allowing
the tissue to swell, allowing Hooch to feel the pain
as the adrenaline burnt out, body turning into a rigid,
sweaty sculpture. And Hooch fought, fought so hard to
retain control of his body. If he let up, he'd choke.
His neck muscles standing out like steel ropes, his
whole body trembling with the effort.
was watching him, unfazed, with no feeling, at least
he hoped so, then put on the cap that shadowed his eyes.
He opened the gag and pulled it from between Hooch's
teeth, carefully not to be bitten.
now, American scum? I can leave you like this for a
few days. The cramps should be very enjoyable for somebody
who so obviously enjoys discomfort. As a friend once
said", baring his teeth fiercely, "it's a
challenge to make a masochist break, but I'm up for
" each word forced out between clenched teeth,
but then Hooch's muscles gave in for a second and his
head snapped forward, rope cutting into the larynx and
he jerked himself back, the sound of distress purely
don't have to touch you. Yet. When I'm done with you
..." Vadim paused, changing his tactics. "Tell
me, would you like to suck my cock? This makes you hard,
point proven: you're a masochist, and a degenerate at
that. A homosexualist."
breath came hissing, laboured. His face a mess of drying
blood and darkening bruises, but the glare still had
the same intensity. "Just sex." Hardly able
to stop a sound of pain escaping. Almost a whimper.
it." Vadim met the gaze, measure for measure. If
Hooch truly believed that, he didn't see himself as
gay. Despite plenty of evidence to the contrary. Maybe
the type that thought that they weren't gay as long
as they didn't 'take it'. But Hooch did. He said he
couldn't stop it, when he fell in with the S/M crowd.
Unless 'taking it' was nothing but part of the punishment.
Would he stay hard when he got fucked? Would he come?
And would he accept it, deep down, truly accept that
he was having sex with a man, and one that 'topped'
him. Hooch made it sound like sex didn't matter. Here,
he was wrong. Repeat sex could form a habit, a habit
could become an addiction, even a relationship, or a
mind-saving, mind-destroying nexus like with Dan. It
could be the seed of a new person, the core, the deep,
deep core that couldn't be touched otherwise, unless
one was very skilled at removing layers and skin and
scars. And Hooch's hunger, to 'watch', that intensity,
that just proved him wrong. "You should think carefully
about what you choose when you have free choice",
Vadim murmured lowly. "How many women can fuck
you up the ass? And isn't that what you want? You couldn't
help it? Bullshit! You got yourself in a position where
you knew what would happen. You're Delta. Risk assessment
should be developed better in you than your average
stupid grunt." Vadim leaned forward. "You
feed on it. You need it."
growled, a sound that was everything but human. "Just
asshole!" Hardly comprehensible
words, the strain made it near impossible to speak.
you repeat it often enough it may yet come true."
Vadim took the blindfold that he'd found. Stupid little
thing was given out in long-haul flight packs, and he'd
kept it, just in case the light woke him, but he could
never bring himself to wear it. Hated his eyes to be
covered these days, and assumed it was a soldierly reflex.
Now, he needed to blur Hooch's sense of time. And nothing
did that like taking his sight. He knelt down and slipped
it over Hooch's eyes, made sure it sat in the right
place, then sat back on the chair, leaning against it.
Attentively watching, studying what he could see from
the face, the lips, the tension in the body. He needed
to make sure that Hooch didn't choke.
strain in Hooch's body grew in increments. Turning from
rock hard muscles to cramped steely ropes beneath the
skin. Sweating with the effort to remain in the stress
position without choking himself. Between the devil
and the deep blue sea - with his head far back in his
neck the pain got so bad in the battered muscles and
joints, Hooch let out small sounds between the sharp
hissing breaths. Biting his lips to stay quiet, but
he couldn't stop those sounds of distress completely.
It got worse, much worse, after half an hour. So bad,
his body was wrecked with waves of pain, visibly shuddering
through him. Muscles trembling, he was fighting to keep
his head at least far enough back to be able to get
in a little air. Rope digging deeply into his throat,
his lips were open, letting out rattling breaths when
another shudder ran through him. The tremor growing
to uncontrollable proportions when he kept hanging on.
Kept fighting. Longer, ever longer. Not giving in. Impossible
to. Could not, would not. But he didn't know for how
long he fought, forgot where he was, forgot why and
how and if he was watched or not. No sounds except for
his own, and those became just as uncontrollable as
the wrecking convulsions.
could have watched for an hour or two. The mental struggle
was likely as fierce as the physical one, but somebody
fighting so hard won his respect. Hooch had that, of
course, it was just a theoretical thought. Not that
he'd got too deep into the role. Not like the Major
was actually rearing his head. Exactly when the other
man, the one he'd been, had died, he couldn't remember.
Maybe there was no moment, maybe it was just a long,
long process of coming up for air.
shifted his weight, knelt down beside Hooch. "This
will stop when you beg me to fuck you", he said,
didn't answer. Just a sound that wanted to break through.
A desperate sound, when he forced his head to make tiny
placed a hand on Hooch's cheek, the other was a fist
just in case the man would bite, and he rested his hand
there, against the sweaty, stubbly chin. There was this
odd tenderness again, and part of him wanted to free
him and take him to bed, but that was not what Hooch
fought the touch - and lost the fight before it even
started. The sound that finally came out, from his very
core, and the desperate whimper was small, almost negligent.
it was the most weakness Vadim had ever witnessed, and
just seeing him like that, not struggling right now,
soundly beaten and knowing it, tightened Vadim's chest.
He took the knife and severed the piece of rope that
kept Hooch's head up, which fell to the ground, forehead
hitting hard. Allowing him that much relief, then tied
the legs closer together, at the knees, too, but severed
the rope that kept arms and legs together, taking most
of the strain off. Vadim lifted him and placed Hooch
on the bed, face down, who finally got himself sufficiently
back together again to try and fight - but his overstrained
muscles simply wouldn't obey and the pain of changing
the position was unbearable.
untied the legs to open them and tie them to the bed
frame, spread, then, carefully, ready to fight back
if Hooch started trouble, but the movements were uncoordinated
and despite the effort, Hooch's legs would not obey
him. The muscles useless with tremors and cramps after
cramps. Vadim unchained the wrists and raised them above
Hooch's head, tying them to the bed frame, which should
make escaping impossible, whenever Hooch regained control
of his body again. But right now the man was just breathing
against the pain, while struggling to suppress the sounds
that wanted to come out. Again, forever struggling.
The need for control.
watched him for a bit, wanting to wipe the sweat off,
but he knew that he had to wait for the pain to subside.
Eventually the signs became obvious, when Hooch pulled
in a few deeper breaths and the tremors in arms and
legs subsided. "The more muscles you have, the
worse the cramps", Vadim observed. "At least
that's what I heard." He ran his fingers through
his hair, having taken the cap off. Seeing the naked,
defenceless man on the bed raised two emotions. One
was wanting to protect him - the other was to fuck him
so hard that he screamed. Vadim swallowed, shuddering
himself now. He kept his eyes on Hooch, allowed the
thought to not only creep up, but fully manifest, until
it was the dominant, only thought in his mind. Fuck
this man. Screaming. Bleeding. Fighting. Hating. This
is what I am, Vadim thought. I've been this, and I am
that same thing, still. And I'll ever be this. I'll
always be capable of rape. He studied the thought, examined
it, repelled like he had received a bullet and he was
examining the wound. Splintered bone, pieces of metal.
Blood and puss. Clinical. This wasn't a game, not like
with Dan. This was the real thing, even though he knew
it wasn't real, it still was. He fed it from the genuine,
pure source of darkness.
headed over to where he'd dropped the purchases. The
dildo. And the lube. If he fucked Hooch now, he would
rape him. Hooch might not be able to tell the difference,
or he might, but it wouldn't be good - too much poison.
He didn't even want to force himself in and so much
as remember he'd very nearly killed Dan after he'd been
finished with him. How many had killed themselves after
this? Deserved or innocent. Feeding that hunger was
not wrong. It would destroy something. He shuddered
with the effort, he wanted Hooch, wanted to have him,
and he could feel Hooch expected it on some level. That
was why Hooch had got himself into this position. He
lubed the dildo up, it was the smaller one, then pulled
Hooch's ass cheeks apart, whose breath quickened, muscular
buttocks tightening, to dribble in more lube. The silicone
cock was cool and firm and smooth, hard enough to just
push through, and Vadim positioned it, his own guts
tight, cock impossibly hard as he began to push in.
head flew up, craned far back into his neck, despite
or because of the over-strained neck, and he let out
a sound, hissed through clenched teeth, which was all
too terrifyingly close to "yes!"
made Vadim shudder. If this had been rape, Hooch would
have wanted it. Fuck. He pushed the dildo deeper, felt
the body's resistance, knew what it would feel like
if that had been his flesh. Gripped the thing harder
and began to fuck Hooch in long, powerful strokes, deeply
and with a lot of force, finding the angle that he liked,
and kept going. Alternating between deep and shallow
strokes, with far more patience than he would have had,
normally. He could do this all night, and maybe he would.
To fight that other desire.
had no leverage, couldn't rub his cock against anything;
no freedom to thrust into the mattress. Once again fighting,
this time for release, his body dripping with sweat.
Thrashing within the bonds, back muscles bunching, rolling,
shoulders standing out starkly on the shimmering, glistening,
sweat-drenched skin. Growling, head thrashing from side
to side, trying to push back towards the dildo, needing
just that much more. More pain, more speed, more of
everything, and most of all more of being used. The
words that became audible, amidst the desperate breathing,
thrusting, tearing and fighting, were again and again,
a growled, breathless: "Make me. Make me."
slid a hand under Hooch's body and took hold of his
cock, thick and pulsing. He knew Hooch was close, maybe
couldn't come - just like he couldn't himself from getting
fucked alone. "No demands", he murmured. "Beg
me, you piece of scum." Holding the cock tightly,
not allowing Hooch to push into his hand, as he kept
thrusting in with the dildo, deep, fast, brutal, a speed
and strength that would have brought him over the edge
within a few minutes.
intensifying; heat and pressure growing, more, unbearable.
The hand, just that touch, and the pain. The glorious,
hated, needed and spearing pain. Mind-blowing, and Hooch
threw his head back, whole body arching, tightening,
rock hard sculpture of muscle and sweat, when he came
with almost a scream. Suppressed, still, somewhere,
despite the uncontrollable shudders and the gruelling
wanted to lick the sweat off him, but didn't. Instead,
he released Hooch's cock, wiped his hand on the duvet,
and regarded the shuddering mass of man. He wanted,
wanted badly. He pulled the shirt off, plus undershirt,
baring his chest and back, got rid of the shoes, the
trousers. Skin on skin. He wanted that, even above fucking
him, wanted to feel the body. He slid between Hooch's
legs, used some more of that lube to slick up his cock,
and pushed inside, right away. Right after Hooch's orgasm,
but slowly, easing himself in, and Hooch tensed, but
except for a low groan and his hands clenching, there
was no reaction. Vadim wanted, desired, needed, but
right now, it wasn't about that. He lay down on top
of Hooch, stretched out, while entering him fully, allowing
the other man to feel most of his weight, his lips near
the man's ear. "What am I, Hooch? Tell me."
weight, body heat. Threatening. Reassuring. Neither.
wanted. Hooch tried to speak, face half
pressed into the mattress, but it was hard to move his
head, even harder still to clear his throat, moisten
his lips and find enough spittle to try and answer a
question he couldn't understand. "M
tried again, "man." The first thing that came
to his mind, and he clenched his buttocks, just to feel
the living flesh inside him.
groaned at that, but he couldn't move. It would hurt
badly. "Yes", he said, breathlessly. "I'm
that. I'm a man. And
forcing himself so hard to stay right there without
moving. "A comrade." Soldier. It always came
back to that. "I won't fuck you, not
right now." Vadim's hand ran over Hooch's arm,
caressing the muscle, the shoulder, the armpit, stroking
and exploring, anything to keep his mind from the tantalizing
heat and tightness. The smell of pain, misery, and need.
it." Hooch shuddered, no demand, just a fact. "Need
it." Need to feel. Need pain. Need
clenched, not releasing this time, and he couldn't help
moving towards the caress.
wanted to. He wanted to, and Hooch demanded it, and
what would be wrong just doing it. What? He shuddered
again. "Relax", he said, very close to Hooch's
ear. "Accept it. Enjoy it. Feel it. Feel me. Feel
what I do." How else could he say it. He
wanted Hooch to be aware.
" Hooch's face turned into a grimace,
and he shook his head, as much as he could.
removed the blindfold and dropped it at the side, discarded,
and Hooch clenched again, trying to feel more of the
burn, the sensation of being filled.
need you to
understand", Vadim murmured.
"I know you want the pain. I can give you pain."
I want to give you pain, said a small voice in him.
I can. I can destroy you if you want me to. I can do
it even if you don't want me to. "I need to
break through that wall
" Vadim kissed his
neck, suddenly, shifting even though he didn't want
to, far from a thrust, just a slight movement. "I
need to get
inside of you."
groaned and shuddered, tried to intensify the movement,
but failed. Too securely bound. Turning his head until
the swollen eye was pressed into the mattress and he
caught a glimpse of Vadim. "What do you want?"
Every word tickled, his throat as dry as the Sahara.
"There's nothing to find."
Who are you, Hooch? And why does nobody know your real
name, the one you've been born with? Because you're
No, why? And did it matter? Hooch's fingers scrabbled
at the rope, but he couldn't find leverage.
shifted to allow Hooch a view of his face, making eye
contact. "You're doing this to feel, but all you
feel is pain. One day, that will backfire. Somebody
could kill you, direct or indirect." He shifted
again, redistributing his weight. "Do you feel
The answer came too fast, too true, and the darkness
in the one visible eye intensified. Hooch shuddered,
a deep resistance beginning to yield. Losing, unless
he had already lost, as if that cock inside of him,
and that body that crushed his own, forced all the layers
and lies away, everything he'd never known, never thought
about. Draining the puss from a wound he'd never known
closed his eyes, knowing that it was the truth and that
he'd touched the darkness at the other man's core. Feeling
the shift in the other's body, the yielding, on such
a primal level that there was really no thought to describe
it. That quality of touch changed, he was now truly,
deeply, inside, and that place looked as desolate as
his own space. "I know", he murmured. Inhaling
deeply, then, very carefully moving, lifting some of
his weight off Hooch, but staying inside. Waiting, shielding,
and feeling that deep, impossible connection. He wanted
him on his knees, now, which was impossible to achieve
without leaving him. Fuck. Ropes were impractical for
this, but he hadn't wanted to risk getting a double
kick in the face. He wasn't thirty anymore.
left Hooch to loosen the ropes that kept his legs taut,
then returned, not yet pushing inside again. "Lift
up", he murmured, prodding Hooch to get up on his
knees, and began to stroke the powerful body, kneading
and touching, chest, thighs, to the balls, rolling them
in one hand. All with time, leisure, tenderness, but
still firmly. "You
are breathtaking, Hooch.
First American I ever respected." He gave a small
laugh and rubbed his cock against the powerful ass.
eyes were closed, lips open, making small, involuntarily
movements towards the hands. As if he were only reacting.
A body, nothing else, allowing the mind to listen. "Just
surviving." Murmured, he shivered as if from cold,
while the sweat on his body cooled.
be a good day to start living", Vadim kept his
voice low, just between the two of them. Realising he
was starting a massage, he decided that was a good idea,
actually, and Hooch's body responded on its own when
cramped muscles were stroked. Vadim took some more of
the tension out, banning his own for the moment. This
stuff was too important. The need didn't matter, not
like it once had. "Took me a lot to learn that
is easier." Hooch brought out, barely more
than a whisper, his fingers clenching and unclenching
around the bit of rope they could grasp.
guess it is. It's a habit." Vadim reached over,
worked his way down from the neck and shoulders, down
the back, the hips, the thighs, calves, to the feet.
Firmly stroking, he'd need oil for a proper massage,
it might be worth getting up and getting some. But he
couldn't be bothered, he wanted to touch instead, stay
close, listen to Hooch breathe. Gradually relaxing himself,
focused on the other's body, some arousal was still
there and it would take very little to make it flare
every touch, every minute longer, every connection of
hands on skin and flesh, something happened in Hooch.
First a faint tremble in his legs - unexpected and overwhelming
in its simplicity. His head relaxed, neck muscles, abused
and tortured, losing their tightness, and his knees
spread further. Sliding towards the hands, opening wider,
and opening for more than a cock. The whole man, inviting.
Hooch's body accepting and understanding long before
Hooch understood. And Vadim kept thinking, that was
how he wanted him, like this. He didn't want to break
the man. He wanted the acceptance and the lust from
are you doing this?" Hooch murmured, speech was
becoming easier, despite the parched throat. "I
thought ... "
thought I'd fuck you even though it would be just pain."
much you could have done. Could have fucked you with
a knife. Nobody knows where you are. Nobody would hear
ever does." Barely breathed out, Hooch wasn't sure
anymore if he was talking, or thinking, or if the sounds
came from somewhere else in the room.
Self-sufficiency that had led to the worst loneliness
imaginable. That was Hooch in a nutshell, thought Vadim.
Keeping up the movements, he suddenly realized what
he'd do next. He wiped the lube from Hooch's ass and
moved his face in, gently biting the powerful muscled
cheeks. Then less gently biting them, enjoying the vibrating
power, and then moved closer and deeper, which made
Hooch jerk, but not away, instead towards. Kissing the
hole, somewhat reddened and looser, Vadim moved his
tongue in, and the same time taking hold of Hooch's
ass, folding his hands over the small of his back, and
blocking movement backwards with his shoulders. All
Hooch could do was allow those sounds - any sounds -
that wanted to come out, and he let out another whimper,
defeated, elated, before it changed into a low groan.
Such a soft sound from such a tough man.
lube was neutral in taste, vaguely oily and artificial,
but no bad taste, and Hooch was thoroughly clean. The
opening reacting with reflexes as Vadim licked and brushed,
taking his time with this. Hooch tried to move towards
the tongue, but his hips stayed in Vadim's grip, and
his breathing increased, louder, faster, intermingled
with more of those small sounds. This was too much,
too good. His cock reacted eventually, despite having
cum only a short while ago. So much, so overwhelming,
he had forgotten that he was supposed to fight. It had
been drained out of him, the wound now clean, but open.
smiled and pulled away, noticed the signs, and lazily
ran a hand over Hooch's cock. "Free choice",
he murmured, just loud enough. "I keep doing this
until you cum. Second, I'll untie you and we see what
happens. Three. I'll fuck you. Four. You suck me off.
Five: any of the above in whatever combination you want."
body beneath his hands shuddered, spine lowering down
further, as if all the muscles had lost their strength
and could not hold the body up. "Second."
Hooch's voice was quiet. Looking up, one-eyed, "untie
Vadim reached over, fiddled with the knots, but the
second one had pulled so tight that he had to cut it,
less of a bother, anyway. Removing the ropes, one by
one, and dropping the pieces on the floor.
when Hooch tried to move, his muscles didn't comply,
he had no control. Losing balance and falling onto his
side. He groaned, but there was no anger, instead laboriously
turning half-way onto his back, looking at Vadim. The
true extend of the disfiguration of his face became
visible, and Vadim's eyes widened at the
and swelling, but Hooch was unaware. "Want to suck
you." Hooch reached out, leaving a faint trail
of smeared blood from a torn wrist, unaware of that
as well. Touching Vadim's shoulder. His arm so heavy,
muscles exhausted, it rested with its full weight. Had
lost control over his body and - at last - control over
his mind. The needed, dreaded, constant control. Not
a shred of tension left in his body, and least of all
in his eyes. "Then fuck me."
was no longer sure whether Hooch was in any state to
do either of those, looking at the face, the wrists.
Fuck. Had anybody else ever fucked him up that bad?
Had he really used so much force? I'm okay, he thought.
I don't need
I'm not sure I want
at the extent of force he must have used to make Hooch
look like that. "You're not okay, comrade. You
could just rest."
it." Nothing else mattered. No pleading, no anger,
just one simple fact.
wasn't completely convinced, but he nodded, didn't want
to push him away, not in that fragile state right now.
He began to realize that he had no idea what he'd done
to the Delta. Or whether whatever he'd done could be
reversed and again yield Hooch as he knew him. "Okay."
He stretched out, hand trailing Hooch's shoulder, neck,
wasn't even quite sure whether kissing him was okay,
but he moved up and towards him, placing his lips on
Hooch's swollen, bloodied ones.
response was slow, but no less intense. A different
kiss, without the watchfulness, without intent. A manifestation
of sensations, taste and feeling, as tongues touched,
lips moved slowly. Hooch kissed Vadim like only Dan
ever had before. With utmost focus and completeness.
And that went right through Vadim, the unexpected intimacy,
the feeling in this, far more than he'd ever got from
Hooch. Soundly beaten and destroyed, but at the same
time, in that moment, Vadim couldn't feel guilty for
it, despite all the evidence of how much the Delta had
been fucked up. Vadim smiled gently, running his hand
through Hooch's hair. "Okay. I
think I know
how." He moved and turned, kissing his way down,
then shifted and turned on the bed until he was facing
Hooch's half-hard cock, keeping some support against
a fraction forward, Hooch's lips touched Vadim's cock,
just staying there for a moment. Eyes open, looking,
not watching, not in the way he used to, but looking
closely and just breathing. Inhaling the scent. Musk,
male, some lube still, and his tongue snaked out and
licked along the length with deliberation. Not the clinical
detachment, the undeniable skill, but imprinting himself
with touch and taste, and really, truly, wanting to
lick and suck that cock. His eyes closed and he rested
his hand on Vadim's hip, merely lying there, while he
moved his head, using only his tongue and lips to lick
and suck, getting the most taste, the most sensation
had hardly touched Hooch's cock, too
suddenly, too much caught up in the feeling of this
very different way to do it. This wasn't the devil may
care Delta, wasn't the man that seemed to fuck or suck
mostly for sports and as part of a trade. When he could
think just remotely clearly again - hard with the need
coming back full force, with every second making it
better, he forced himself to take Hooch's cock, which
was fully hard. Interesting. Hooch really got into it,
so much that Vadim found it difficult to even get the
basics done, no tricks, just sucking and licking unless
something Hooch did made him breathless and forced a
groan from him.
slowly licked up the length, letting his head fall to
the side. "Fuck me." Voice husky.
rolled over onto his back for a moment, gathering his
thoughts, his mind, everything. He turned again, pushing
Hooch over onto his back, whose limbs moved languidly,
like nearly frozen water. Heavy, but pliable. Vadim
got onto his knees, while Hooch's legs fell open, and
reached for the lube, then pushing lubed up fingers
into Hooch, who was still nice and relaxed, counteracting
the soreness of the merciless dildo fuck. Vadim pushed
up Hooch's legs, because the Delta likely didn't have
any strength left for this, placed them onto his shoulders,
and they were, indeed, dead weights. Such 'weakness'
for a man of Hooch's strength.
me. That wasn't quite the expression, Vadim thought,
as he eased himself in, feeling all that, everything
he'd imagined. The heat and the tightness, but above
all, that acceptance that sometimes came with defeat,
apparently, or with something else that he had with
Dan. Hooch rolled his head to the side, good eye looking
at Vadim, before it, too, closed, and he parted his
lips, letting out a long, deep sigh. His hands on the
sheets, fingers slowly curling then uncurling again.
in and closer, Vadim kept most of his weight away from
Hooch as he pushed deeper, bending to get to his lips,
his face, his throat, while he began to ease out, and
back in, thrusts slow and controlled.
lips were moving, lifting his arms, heavy as lead weights.
His hands on Vadim's shoulders, touching, connecting.
breath came hard, but he didn't want to inflict more
pain, and yet, he needed Hooch, too, needed to cum,
after a whole day of wanting, and what felt like hours
of prelude and sex and 'fun'. "You okay?"
he asked, voice somewhat strangled by need. If he had
to stop, he would. The alternative, not stopping, didn't
bear thinking about.
parted, Hooch opened his eyes at the question, looking
at Vadim. Truly looking, not using the faintest amount
of control. All gone, all given up, and he smiled. A
rare smile, none that Vadim had ever seen. A smile that
belonged to the man, not the Delta. His hands moved
slowly, with effort, head lifting, which was even harder.
Fingers moving travelling Vadim's face, touching. "Yeah
..." Whispered. Resting his head back, Hooch closed
his eyes once more.
turned his head to kiss a hand, then moved again, sweat
running from him as the control took so much strength
to maintain. He didn't just want to pound into Hooch,
he wanted to
what? 'Make love' or something like
that. Yes. Fuck. He cared about the man, there was all
this tenderness, all the stuff stored up inside him,
and he didn't want to lose himself just yet. Instead
moving, thrusting, sliding, shifting the angle to find
the best way to do this, while keeping his own need
in check, holding force back, and everything else, eyes
arm slid off Vadim's shoulder at one stage, and he just
lay there, as if crucified. Eyes closed, head back,
laboured breaths coming from parted lips, riding out
the sensations. Higher and higher, towards a plateau
he stayed on, impossible to crash over the edge. That
was the crux, he was passive. Like never before in his
entire life, not even in any of the dangerous hardcore
scenes he'd got himself into. This, now, was the absolute
final abandonment, and it was shaking him to the core.
Ripping him wide open and hurting - and that ache was
good. Not empty. Not just surviving. Time to start
shifted again, wrapped a hand around Hooch's cock, and
timed the motion with his thrusts that got deeper and
harder, sweat trickling from his back now. Still nowhere
near the savage madness, still lucid and emotional,
no anger, no hatred, no disregard. Just that, giving
Hooch what he could, and what he needed, while taking
what he needed in return. Exchange and gift and all
that, but above all, it was a relief when he finally
allowed himself to come, groaning and grateful when
he could lift that pressure, the restraint, thrusting
hard a few more times, but already gone, tired, drained,
hardly noticed the change, body still clinging to those
last hard thrusts and the hand that couldn't quite take
him over the edge. Opening his eyes, so close, too close,
and his whole body shook with need. There was only one
thought left, only one thing to do. "Please!"
And he begged. At last.
understood, and while he was out of breath, that didn't
matter. He shifted again, sucking down Hooch's cock
in one swift, determined motion, fucking his throat
and deliberately constricting his throat with the recklessness
he did it.
cried out, the sound reverberating through the room,
when he came at once again. Falling back onto the bed
after a rigid, painful contraction. He reached for Vadim,
eyes closed, hands almost scrabbling. Mindless, still
in the throes of the aftermath.
pulled back, not much, just enough to swallow a few
times, stretching out right next to Hooch, whose hands
were all over his chest, face, pulling him close with
what strength he had left. Vadim placed a hand flat
between Hooch's shoulder blades, pushing him closer
and kissing his neck, leisurely. He was dead tired and
shuddered from the comedown. What a night. What a day.
held onto him, with as much strength as he had left,
breath loud in the room, while his body still shook
with something that was larger and far beyond the mere
lay back, not moving anywhere. The room was pleasantly
calm, quiet, warm around them, no need to pull up any
blankets. He just breathed the man's scent, felt that
power that seemed to have no focus, no direction, but
was still there. "It's all good. I
like before, Hooch calmed, the words touching him deeply.
Taking the watch. Taking care. Not having to guard his
back, and the ingrained response of a soldier calmed
the man, until he lay quietly, muscles slowly relaxing,
eyes closed, breathing in Vadim's embrace.
kept stroking him, not closing his eyes - it was about
watch, and sleeping on watch wasn't allowed. He just
needed to rest and relax a bit, too, recharging before
he could make himself get up. Because he would have
to. The sheer exertion demanded attention - the way
the muscles had shaken and tensed, Hooch would be physically
fucked if he didn't get a hot bath and likely a massage.
"I'll run the bath", he murmured after long
minutes. "Don't move. Relax."
Hooch breathed out, and his eyes remained closed. Not
feeling the need to check up on movement.
slid out of the embrace, stroking Hooch's shoulder as
if he had to reassure him, then padded over to the bath,
running hot water until he found the right temperature.
Added some bath additive - warming, relaxing, said the
pack - and spread the bathrobe over the heater so it
would warm up for later.
Then he returned to the bedroom, sat down next to Hooch,
who was still lying on his side, exactly where he had
been left, gently stroking the shoulder and back, which
made Hooch draw in a deeper breath. He had been drowsing,
now rolling onto his back. Once again the full extent
of a damage that Hooch didn't seem to be aware of, became
obvious in the dimmed light. He quirked a smile, calmly
looking at Vadim - with one eye swollen.
shook his head. "Sorry about the face", he
murmured. "I should have had more sense than that."
alright." Hooch's voice was tired, relaxed, very
much unlike the energetic, highly controlled man. "Was
what I wanted."
Vadim yawned, stretching his neck, then gave a wry smile.
"Guess I am a kinky bastard after all."
makes me ...?"
of a kind." Vadim yawned again. "Right. I'll
get you into the bathtub now." Offering his hand
as he got up to support Hooch. He'd have carried him,
but he assumed that wasn't welcome, and besides, the
doors were fairly narrow in this place. Hooch accepted
the help, and he groaned when he got onto his feet.
Walking stiffly, he made it into the bathroom on his
got Hooch into the bath, a somewhat tricky task with
a man who had to grit his teeth to get his limbs to
comply. Submerging into the hot water, Hooch couldn't
help the sharp hiss when his torn wrists hit the water,
burning like fire, but he continued to lower down until
there was hardly more than his neck and head above the
sat on the rim of the tub, taking a sponge to soap him
and rub Hooch's skin to get the circulation going and
to work some of the exhaustion out of his body.
Hooch was leaning forward, grateful for the treatment,
when he moved once more back, head resting against the
edge of the tub, as relaxed as he could be. "So."
He stated, looking straight into Vadim's face. "I'm
gay and a masochist. That what you taught me?"
laughed, surprised. "Not sure what I 'taught' you,
but maybe I made you aware of what you're doing when
you're doing this." Vadim took one of Hooch's arms
out of the water and checked the abrasions around the
wrists. Thankfully, they didn't circle the wrist completely.
It would be easier to explain that kind of mark. "I
just found it striking that you call yourself an 'opportunist'
rather than 'gay'. Or, as Dan puts it, 'faggot'. So
you were just taking advantage of an abundance of men
that all suffer from too little sex. At the same time,
you suck like a pro, and you visited Matt when you could
have had women. Probably all women, with that grin of
point taken." And there it was, that grin, and
it still worked, despite the messed-up face. "Used
to do women. Figured sex is just what we do. Means nothing.
You tell me it does?"
can do for years what we are not." Vadim looked
at him. "I was married, a father, a good Soviet
citizen. Was that me? On some level, yes, on many levels,
fuck, no." He shook his head. "I did things
I'm not. Many things. I'm still accountable, but it's
not me. I didn't do things I was. I held back, I had
regrets, many wasted opportunities. It's not that easy.
I wanted more from you than
He grinned, borrowing a phrase from Jean, "getting
off with you."
do you want?"
and comrades. If I can have that. I'm very short of
friends and comrades."
Hooch smiled lopsided, "deal. Got the comrades,
short on friends myself. Not sure what Matt is."
grinned, relieved somehow, that the offer was just accepted.
He was, he thought, indeed fairly lonely in that regard.
"Who knows what he is. He's certainly very pretty.
tried to intimidate him once. He was a piece of work."
Vadim shook his head. "They make them with guts,
if little sense, these Marines."
got to tell me that story some time." Hooch shook
his head a little. "Got any vodka left? Hurt like
fuck in some places." The half-grin was back.
Vadim got up and walked out, on the way to the kitchen
picked up his tight shorts and put them on, and then
got two shot glasses and the bottle of vodka. Pouring
them on the rim of the bathtub. "I'll feed you
some pills, too. Supplements. Should help you recover.
That is, after the massage."
chucked the vodka down. "You treat all your masochists
like that?" He grinned, holding the glass out again.
" Vadim poured another shot. "Some
way to determine how many people I treat like this,
hm?" He grinned. "Dan
he doesn't go
that far. It's always
more of a game. He wouldn't
have gone that far."
the difference?" Hooch downed the second shot.
Determined to dull some of his senses in the most comfortable
way. "I don't play." He held his glass out
again, and Vadim filled it once more.
it's probably different. There are days,
well, nights, usually, when I need one thing, and other
nights when I crave something else. No idea how that
links into the job. Sometimes I enjoy it
like this. Many times I'm happy with 'vanilla', or whatever
they call it. Depends. I don't know whether my job has
anything to do with it. But one thing I do remember
" Vadim paused, thinking. "When I was
getting tired, exhausted, mentally more than physically,
I didn't have the strength. Then I just took it, allowed
it to happen. Made me feel alive again."
like the pain." Hooch was watching Vadim intently,
"the humiliation." Emptying the vodka. "Only
sometimes. Most times I just want sex. No stress."
The vodka was starting to do some work, and he held
his glass out once more.
poured the bottle, which was the last shot, too. "I'll
get more of this. But it won't be cold." He considered.
"Me. I'm what some people call a 'switch', I like
both ends of it
Depends on many factors. But
I like the pain, too. Dan got me drunk on pain a few
when we met. I like force. Struggle. Strength.
I like to fight for it. Mentally - like getting into
your mind - or physically, like wrestling or something
" Hooch mused, finishing the last
of the vodka, condensation running down his fingertips.
"Couldn't say it better." Wiping his lips
with a slow, lazy hand. "That where your scars
Dan tortured me. That's the ones on the back. The one
between the legs, that was some weird kind of
pact. But I was horny as fuck when he did it."
To Hooch's credit, he was taken aback. "Torture.
And you love him?"
sometimes think that was his way of touching a captive
Soviet officer without feeling gay." Vadim gave
a laugh. "And talking about 'excessive' pain
It just means that you need more pain to get the same
results. You're a hard bastard, Hooch. And that's a
snorted, closing his eyes for a moment as he craned
his head back, across the rim of the bathtub, baring
the rope burns and strangulation marks. "You think
I do my job because I like this shit?"
don't think so. Many do it who are perfectly 'vanilla'.
It's not the job. It's just
I think, that we
see things and do things that normal people don't. We
get wounded, we get captured, see comrades die
I think it deafens some of us to things that would satisfy
civilians. There's sometimes a lot of rage
Vadim thought of Beauvais and his brow darkened. "Shame.
Guilt. We do things that nobody else would, and we are
still bound by their rules. We're fine to kill, but
we better not be gay or have sex outside
expected. I think it's the pressure. Some turn to drink,
others kill themselves, and then there's the whole thing
about guarding your emotions and maybe trying to stay
human, then that, really, is the most difficult of all.
How can I torture a man and be a loving father? How
can I desire an enemy and still do my duty? How can
I live with this. Most people never think about it or
push it away, but others are aware of what they are
doing. They still do it. They have to put that pressure
somewhere. If pain makes you feel alive, it also means
you're not invincible. Even though you, as Delta, are
trained to believe in yourself - and you have a great
deal of guts, and there's the regimental pride stuff,
too. In the end, though, you are a man. You're human.
You have the same needs as if you hadn't joined up and
were now working as
" pondering. "What
would you be as a civilian? No idea. Can't see you in
anything but the camo. But you have the same needs as
the next civilian. You're just dealing with a lot more
and hold yourself to very different standards. It's
relaxing to be a mercenary, in a way. I don't have a
country, there are no standards. All I have to do is
get the job done and obey orders. That's fine. Nobody
can touch me for being gay. Nobody."
looked at Vadim for a moment, then moved his hand out
of the water, reached for the back of Vadim's neck,
and pulled him down with surprising, returning strength.
Kissing him for a long while. Intense and utterly honest,
and Vadim drank the kiss in, feeling again that sense
of understanding, of connection. Hooch only spoke when
he released Vadim's neck. "I understand now."
Quietly, with no less intensity in his eyes.
"That's as far as I've worked it out, at least",
murmured Vadim, now too aware of the fact his whole
theory was put together from pieces here and there,
and might not hold up for everybody. "But don't
let them tell you because you're
gay that you can't do your job." Don't believe
them when they tell you, you can't win. The trainer.
Fuck. "You can do whatever anybody else can do.
Don't allow them to fuck you up because of what you
want in bed, whether that's
men or pain or both."
know." Hooch let his hand slowly drop off Vadim's
shoulder, resting on the edge of the bath tub. "My
job is what I am. No one can touch me there." He
gave the typical half-cocked grin.
I don't want you to get fucked up over it." Which
was probably the wrong grammatical structure, Vadim
thought, but shrugged.
up? More than I already am?" Hooch drawled. "No
chance." He let out a chuckle, a side of himself,
this dry humour that only a few had ever seen.
me clean your face." Taking a fresh wash-cloth
and carefully using warm water to wipe away the dried
blood, Vadim offered a hand for Hooch to get up. Towelling
him dry while the water gurgled away, then wrapped him
in the bathrobe that was nicely warm now. He ushered
Hooch back to the bedroom, but sat him down on a chair.
"New sheets", he explained and got rid of
the sheets, blankets, putting on new and fresh ones,
then covered the area with two big towels. "Lie
down." He headed into the kitchen and returned
with vodka and an assortment of pills. "Some painkillers
and magnesium, in case you're cramping." Placing
them on the nightstand.
got the four star treatment before." Hooch let
himself relax back into the pillows. Reaching for the
vodka bottle, Vadim had thoughtfully brought a glass
of water. Hooch popped one pill after the other, before
moving from water to vodka.
might end up liking it, hm?" Vadim found some massage
oil, and uncapped it. "Let me take care of the
muscles. I promise, I won't touch you anywhere untoward."
Grinning a grin that said that that was normally the
progression of things.
laughed, turning over onto his front. "Haven't
got another shot in me."
should always keep one bullet for yourself
Vadim grinned and peeled away the bathrobe. Hooch's
skin was warm and dry now, and he worked his way up
from the toes, slowly and thoroughly, like he'd learnt
by having been worked on by several very good masseurs.
He had picked up good tricks along the way, especially
if it came to tightness, cramps, and over-exertion.
Working on Hooch for a long time, eventually hearing
Hooch's breath change, as he fell asleep. He still continued,
relaxing every muscle he could reach, up to his fingertips,
then wrapped Hooch into the blanket and dimmed the light.
He gathered up the uniform, the cut rope, and cleared
it all away. The soiled blankets, too, and placed the
remaining vodka into the freezer. Finally taking off
the shorts, he slipped under the blanket with Hooch,
close, touching, smelling the good clean smell, and
closed his eyes. Shopping again, tomorrow. There were
other things he wanted to try. Maybe just spend some
of that hard-earned cash, have apple pancakes, tea,
stroll around. A relaxed day, especially now that Hooch
seemed far more open than Vadim would have thought possible.
next morning, Hooch was still deeply asleep, taking
up most of the bed. Sprawled out, lying on his back.
He'd disentangled himself from the duvets, most of his
body uncovered, and in the merciless light of the morning
sunshine, the bruises, contusions, abrasions, swelling
and marks were all too visible. Yet he slept on, undisturbed.
however, had a too good look at all the injuries. What
to do. If they wanted to go out, there should be some
kind of excuse. Not a beating, that might only attract
attention. He'd been told to 'hide in plain sight' -
something Jean had perfected, he thought wryly. No,
didn't work. An explanation. He thought about it while
fixing the English breakfast he'd promised yesterday,
taking his time, then, when the coffee began to gurgle,
he touched Hooch's shoulder. "Good morning. You
had a car accident."
Hooch jerked up, from asleep to awake in a second, without
a moment of drowsiness in between. He winced before
he had himself under control and relaxed back down.
"I had what?" Yawning, he stretched, masking
the wince this time.
accident. We'll tape the worst marks off. We might even
get you a neck support. Whiplash." Vadim grinned.
"Polite society and all that. You look like
somebody gave you a very sound beating."
did give me a very sound beating." Hooch
cocked his customary grin, gently fingering his swollen
eye, and testing his nose which was tender but not broken.
headed into the kitchen and brought a plate of the breakfast
and a strong, black coffee. Once Hooch had taken these
off him, he grabbed his own and sat down on the bed.
does my neck look like?" There was undisguised
amusement in Hooch's voice. None of the tension nor
control had retuned. Yet.
you'd been strangled - there's rope burn, let alone
strangulation marks. Damn. The brace would at least
good, then." Hooch nodded and relished the first
sips of coffee, sitting up in bed with the plate balancing
on his knees. "Got to buy a suit."
Vadim smiled when he realized how surprised he sounded.
one. Family stuff coming up. Don't want to go in uniform."
mind me. Dan would rather gnaw off his own leg than
wear a suit. I've seen a few good shops for that."
decimated the breakfast with ravishing hunger. "You
know anything about suits?"
I got some made." Vadim nodded towards the wardrobe.
"Brought exactly one, just in case I wanted to
go to the theatre, or the opera, like I sometimes did,
when I was
working here." Vadim grinned.
"I have this thing for suits and guys in suits."
a thing for a guy in suit who's been in a car crash?"
Hooch shoved one of the last forkfuls into his mouth,
looking thoroughly amused while chewing.
that guy in a suit who'd been in a car crash would appreciate
I'm pretty sure I could come up with
a blowjob or get a blowjob?" Hooch finished off
the food, turned to Vadim, mug in hand. "I got
the remainder of the week. You up to use me for a while?"
I'm fine with both. I give them, I receive them, and
" throat suddenly dry. "I'd 'use' you
for a week. Yes. Fuck, yeah, of course."
eyes had too much intensity. "I want to know who
felt his breath catch again. "Okay." He reached
out to touch Hooch's shoulder. "Better me than
somebody else", he murmured after a long pause.
Hooch quirked a miniature grin. Agreement despite the
It was. Hooch didn't want any safety measures built
in, no compromise, and that had to lead to disaster
with a civilian. And it did touch and use the darkness
inside. But it wasn't about trust. It was clear-cut
need and recklessness, and Hooch would do it, safe or
not. "I'll head over to the pharmacy and get some
stuff." Vadim stood again, grabbed some clothes
from the wardrobe and got dressed. Jogging would be
later. "Enjoy the breakfast." Bending over
to get into the jeans.
finished." Hooch commented laconically. "I'll
do some stretches." When he threw the blankets
away and got up, a livid bruise in the area of his kidneys
was visible, but there was no indication he was bothered
winced somewhat, and other areas of Hooch's body didn't
look better. Fuck. If Hooch had done that for fun, it
would be interesting to see what he looked like after
a mission. He vanished into the bathroom to throw some
water into his face, then put on a shirt. Thinking of
"Hey, what was the Legionnaire like?
Beauvais?" Standing in the doorway to the bedroom.
was slowly stretching against the wall, working his
muscles in an efficient and careful way. Unlike the
recklessness he'd shown the night before. "Angry."
Hooch called out, turning to face Vadim, working the
kinks out of his arms. "Very angry."
The job?" Vadim leaned against the wall, watching
the play of muscles. He wouldn't mind fucking Hooch
against a wall. Would happen. Not right now, but definitely
everything." Hooch shrugged, used the bed as leverage
for calf stretches. "Most of all about having missed
out. The guy's a loose cannon. He'll get himself fucked
by anything that moves." Hooch let himself fall
forward and onto the edge of the bed, using it for push-ups,
suppressing a wince.
your impression of him? Dan gave him the whole 'gay
tour' - pretty much hand-trained him to become a 'faggot'."
We got it into his skull that he's closer to the Legion
than to his cock. He's not out for a lover. He'll be
alright picking up casual sex." Hooch looked up,
stalled, shoulders tense, body rigid, letting the tension
work through his muscles. "If that guy doesn't
make Colonel I fuck a cheerleader squad."
Fuck." Vadim laughed, thinking of his own Colonel
for a moment. It took a man who didn't have a life to
be a Colonel. And the thought of a gay Legion Colonel
was somehow amusing. "Dan found him, checked him
out, picked him up, seduced him
I think virgins
are too much trouble, but I guess Dan likes them."
likes a challenge." Hooch remarked dryly, with
humour in his dark eyes. "Or he wouldn't love you."
raised an eyebrow. "Ouch."
didn't meet in a gay bar in Kabul."
Vadim grinned. "We spent weeks trying to kill each
weeks?" Hooch raised his brows, walking over to
where Vadim had dropped his bathrobe, picking it up.
"The whole story makes no sense." Hooch walked
towards the bathroom, all the while looking at Vadim.
followed, deciding the conversation was too interesting
to leave behind. "I ambushed him with a comrade."
Vadim pursed his lips, carefully watching Hooch for
signs of anger or disgust. "I was
one, semi-drunk, and thought I was the hardest, cleverest
guy on earth. And that whatever I wanted, I could just
are you telling me?" As if he didn't know, but
it was paramount to get it right.
listen." Watching Hooch intently. "He paid
me back. He found out who I was, and paid me back. He
took me prisoner after a mission in the south, up in
he tortured the truth out of me,
that I was spetsnaz
we were supposed to be secret
back then. He needed me to find water, so he didn't
execute me. I tried to flee, but I was in no state to
outrun him, so he dragged me out of my hiding hole,
beat me within an inch of my life. That's
where the scars are from. I think
I think I remember
that I offered him to do what I'd done, to make it even."
Vadim's face twitched. Telling the old story still wasn't
completely painless, not without guilt.
Hooch sat down on the edge of the bathtub, running a
hand through his hair.
should stop now, Vadim knew that, but he'd seen into
the abyss that was Hooch, and wasn't it just fair for
Hooch to do the same? "He went into a rage. I'm
not sure what I said that made him stop, I was too far
gave up. I surrendered. I'd been bested.
Fucked up. Made so fucking scared like I'd only been
as a child, a few times. Aye, and I told him of my family.
That was it. He kept me alive because of my family,
and because he thought he'd be just as bad as I was
if he'd killed me after the torture. He then
made a 180 degree turn and saved my life. And somehow
somehow, I don't know, I started to connect to
him. And he, I guess, somehow, to me. He knew I wanted
him, and I knew he wanted me, but there was that rage
that insult, the mistake I'd made. Next meeting,
I took him prisoner, it was a raid. I kissed him as
I shot him, I didn't want to take his life, either.
We met, after he'd healed. I offered sex. No strings
attached, no emotion, just that, plain old sex. Blowjobs,
hand jobs, some point he fucked me, he was so full of
rage, but, yeah, I liked it rough. Few men at that point
had ever done that to me
never like that, it
more emotional than that. It was a
civilian thing, before I joined. Dan showed me my limits.
He broke me and since then, I just couldn't get rid
of him. Not that I wanted to, but
shook his head, chewed on his lip. "Ah, fuck."
not love." The words came out of Hooch, without
thinking. The truth did not meet the expectation, not
after what he'd witnessed.
shook his head. "It wasn't. Of course not. How
could it have been?" He swallowed, feeling the
darkness churn inside. "But we met. Months apart,
but we always managed to meet. Understanding. We saw
each other's point of view. He was training the dushmans,
the bandits, I was
doing my best to drive every
resistance fighter out of the country. Pakistan is still
fucked up due to that
I got him through the war,
he got me through the war. There were gifts, and
good, calm nights when all we did was lie there and
share heat, or drink tea, or
well, not talk very
much, but sometimes we did even that. We killed each
other's comrades. There were emotions, but it took years.
When Dan was blown up, I almost deserted - I went away
with the leave of a friendly officer, in a way, he had
no idea what I was really up to - found him in Kashmiri
hospital, more dead than alive. We decided we wanted
to try it, together, you know? Stay together. But I
had my family, and I had to go home to fix things, while
he was working to get diplomatic help for me. Didn't
succeed. Somewhere, I'm sure, somewhere the MI5 or MI6
connected me to a suspect killing in Britain. And as
a suspected assassin, they wouldn't extend their hand
to me. Who could have blamed them? All the wrangling
must have attracted somebody's attention, and the KGB
took me, fucked me up and put me on trial for treason
and for being gay."
fucking H Christ." Hooch breathed out, glued to
each and every of Vadim's words. He was physically shaken,
and that, for a tough guy like him, was a first.
paid for my freedom. He and his friends cut a deal with
the KGB. The Soviet Union was crumbling, there was no
point to keep me around for longer. I might have got
out under an amnesty. In any case, somebody up in the
KGB decided to take a quarter million pounds in exchange
for what was left of me. And it wasn't much." Vadim's
brow was dark. "It took me three months to remember
what I was. Nine before I was halfway physically capable
again. We met again in Kuwait. It was a rocky start,
but since then, I had my priorities straight. I'm a
mercenary because I can't allow any country, any nation,
to fuck me over again. If I have to get fucked, I do
it for money. Yes, part of me hates it, but my time's
running out. I have a few more years to make enough
money so I don't have to work anymore."
looked at him, with that one open eye. "Do you
love him? Or do you
I am not sure I can survive alone." Vadim shook
his head. "Dan helps keep me together. The stuff
the KGB did to my mind? It's still there."
come he doesn't hate you?"
shrugged. "I think he tried. It didn't work. Too
much history. Too much pain."
at the beginning." Hooch shook his head. "A
masochist, like me?"
In a way, I'm a masochist like you. But that's not all.
more. I enjoy the power, too. I do both."
meant Dan. You raped him. That's what you told me, right?"
swallowed. "That's what I told you. Dan is not
a masochist. He's just playing when we play hard. It's
a game to him. I told you, I couldn't go as far with
again, too much history."
fucking kill anyone who did that to me. No second thought."
Hooch murmured, looking at his hand for a moment, the
abrasions, the oh so goddamned obvious signs of something
so sick and so good at the same time.
nodded slowly. "I should have been put down like
a rabid dog." Glancing to the side, not sure what
to say. "I deserved it. I
was a complete
bastard. Whatever happened afterwards, I deserved it.
All of it." Including the beating, the breaking,
the scorn, the humiliation. "I deserved it."
Murmured. Konstantinov was right. But the crime wasn't
being gay. The crime had been committed at the end of
what?" Hooch looked up. "You telling me you
deserved the fucked-up shit from the KGB?"
wouldn't have happened if I hadn't met Dan. If I hadn't
crime, that night. I don't believe
in cosmic justice, but I deserved what happened afterwards.
On some level, I did."
a load of bullshit. If you believe that, you believe
it is Dan's fault they got you."
I don't believe that." Yes, the guilt, the crime,
the punishment, it was all still there, in his mind,
and Konstantinov might have done it for the wrong reasons,
but he'd been justified. On some level, he'd done the
right thing. "Well
that's the long, very
gruesome story. My dark secrets. The reason for everything."
Hooch said quietly, shaking his head. "How many
know how it started?"
They get the cleaned up version. That's to protect me,
I guess. Who'd look at me with the same eyes again if
they knew?" Vadim raised his eyes and met Hooch's
gaze, which met his own, unwavering.
won't tell anyone." Hooch paused for a moment.
No flicker in his eyes, nor a twitch in his face, regarding
Vadim the same way as before, as if he'd never been
you. And the last dirty secret is
that the MI5
or MI6 suspected the right guy. I keep thinking of butterfly
wings that start a storm somewhere. Whatever I do, it
had consequences. I kill a dissident in a foreign country,
and the foreign country gets a whiff of it and lets
me rot in prison for two years. It all makes sense."
Vadim ran both hands over his face. "And why did
I tell you
maybe because you made yourself very
vulnerable. Maybe I wanted to give you an idea what
risk you're running."
said nothing, but his face twitched. Cold War. He was
silent for a while, still looking at Vadim, when he
finally cleared his throat. "Shopping?"
Vadim inhaled, deeply, thought he should have gone to
the pharmacy and not spilled the beans like this. "I'm
heading out, you get ready. Should be back in a little."
Leaving Hooch some time to think about it, and in turn
clearing his own mind.
shopping in the pharmacy took longer than expected,
not because of the neck brace or the bandages, but all
the other things he got there. Painkillers, bath salt,
massage oil. He figured they'd need much more of that.
Definitely the massage oil.
in the meantime, got himself dressed, shaved, brushed
and generally spruced up. Still looking as if he'd been
in a meat grinder, though. He even managed to do a household
chore, by unloading the washing machine and hanging
things up wherever he could find a space. All the time
with the bags, Vadim unpacked his loot onto the kitchen
table, with Hooch looking on. "This should get
you through hardly noticed."
huffed a dry laugh. He took the neck brace, fiddling
pointed at the bandages. "I brought salve, too.
Should help with the healing. And I'll massage you again,
to keep the muscles happy." Vadim grinned, glad
Hooch didn't seem too affected. He'd hoped for that.
Somebody seeing him as the thing he was and still staying
around. Dan did that, too. Everybody else just knew
part of the story. "I'll bandage you and suit up,
and then we head back into the city."
Hooch grinned. "No massage, or I'll never get a
fucking suit." He was wearing a shirt, fairly casual
but simultaneously smart. He knew what to go for, once
out of the camo. Holding out his arms. "Do your
love to", Vadim murmured, grinning. He bandaged
the wrists, neatly and professionally, after he'd applied
the salve which cooled and soothed the irritated skin,
then applied more salve on the marks around Hooch's
neck. "You even have a sense of taste", he
murmured. "That's an attractive trait."
raised his brows. "In food? Men? Job? Kinks?"
of them." Vadim fitted the brace. "There.
Perfectly respectable victim."
than perfectly consenting victim." Hooch snorted.
"I want to look for more stuff that brings pain
and less damage."
your nipples sensitive?" Vadim grinned broadly.
If Hooch could play like that, so could he.
for you to find out." Hooch deadpanned, getting
into his leather jacket. His movements were still stiff,
but he wasn't letting it stop him from anything. "I
rarely scream, though." He stood at the door, holding
it open for Vadim. Unable to look down, the neck brace
pushing his chin up and holding it rigid, he had to
turn his whole upper body to check for the other.
pursed his lips, liking the way Hooch was forced to
stay completely straight. "I'll find out, don't
you worry." He locked the door, and off they were